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IELTS TASK 2.Q.INCREASE AIR TICKET PRICE TO REDUCE AIR TRAFFIC


jobymonpj 8 / 17 1  
Jul 26, 2016   #1
Q. AIR TRAVEL IS RESPONSIBLE FOR A LOT OF POLLUTION IN OUR ENVIRONEMENT.SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT PRICES OF AEROPLANE TICKETS SHOULD BE INCREASED IN ORDER TO REDUCE AIR TRAFFIC

DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?


The salad days of third millennium has seen a prolific increase in people who travel by air. Consequently, there has been a view that air travel increases environmental pollution. Although there are few arguments in favour of hiking the price of airline tickets in order to reduce air traffic, I am of the opinion that there are much better ways to tackle this problem.

To begin, one of the main arguments of the proponents of increase in aero plane tickets is that this may hinder people from flying very often. However, I believe this argument does not stand up to scrutiny as there are clear evidences to suggest that those consider air travel as a favourite means of transportation belong to the upper class of the society and a small hike in air tickets does not make any difference in their choice. At the same time, this might have a huge impact on students and job seekers who resort to air travel out of necessity and which is not fair.

On the other hand, there are many possible ways to reduce the number of air travelers. The most tangible alternative is that the government could improve public transportation for longer distance to encourage frequent air travelers to give up flying. For instance, in Japan, the preferred choice of transportation of people is bullet trains that travel at the speed 350 to 400 kilo meters per hour and the Japanese barely travel by air. In addition to that, these trains run on cleaner energy such as nuclear and therefore do not pollute our air.

To conclude, while some people strongly argue that an increase in the price of flight tickets could result in decreased air traffic, I am unconvinced of the effect of such strategy as it seems to me that there are much better ways to do so.

Pleas help me to identify grammar mistakes and wrong choice of words in this essay and if possible, give me a band. Please tell me that whether I answered the question effectively. Any suggestions and advices are highly appreciated.

Thanks in advance.

Daniel1998 4 / 8  
Jul 26, 2016   #2
I have to tell you that this is the best IELTS essay I have read on this website since I created my account. Personally, I did not identified any obvious mistake. I also enjoy your ideas. I think your essay will easily score at least a band 7. Where are you from?

You should avoid writing structures such as "there are, there has been, there is". It is not very academic. I had also used to do that, but eventually I stopped.
OP jobymonpj 8 / 17 1  
Jul 28, 2016   #3
hai friends I expect more reviews and analysis from guys who are adept at English. this is only platform that can help someone like me who has no other choice.
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,195 459  
Jul 28, 2016   #4
The salad days of third millennium has seen
Although there are few arguments in favour
, I am of the opinion that there are much better ways to tackle this problem.

The phrases above are too common, since thousand students out there have stuck such sentences on their essays. I am sure that this way won't impress the examiners at all.

A closer look at how I develop my intro with a strong thesis statement.
Air travel heavily contributes environmental pollution. It is argued that airplane tickets should be charged more, so as to call a halt to the number of people traveling more frequently. Yet, this is not quite justified. The idea that rail and sea transport carry more people and goods between land and sea systems for long travel can be taken into account.


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