IELTS Task 2: Topic Crime
Topic: In recent years there has been an increase in bad behaviors, poor discipline and anti-social behaviors in schools. Tough measures and stricter punishments by schools, parents and others are necessary to stop this trend.
What are the advantages and disadvantages of stricter discipline to young people?
It is a common phenomenon that the number of juvenile criminals has seen an upward trend these days. One solution which is put forward to control this is setting up teenage curfew and castigation. This essay will be concerned with both the benefits and drawbacks of this measure.
With regards to the advantages of severe supervision, it is clear that appropriate discipline and punishments would lead to many positives. Firstly, teenage curfew would guarantee safety for adolescents. If parents allow their children to hang out late or drive at night, the children would likely to cause serious accidents or be involved in drugs or violence, which would be harmful to their physical and mental health. Secondly, the restriction can protect adolescents from juvenile delinquency. As young adults are often vulnerable to criminal acts, if they lack the knowledge to avoid bad behaviors, they will likely to participate in gangs and become juvenile offenders. Finally, discipline could build good morals and characters to children at a young age. With good parenting and appropriate punishments, children could build good self-discipline, self-esteem as well as other virtuous dignities which are beneficial to them in later life.
However, harsh supervision is not always thought to be advantageous. There have some negatives that should be taken into consideration. The first and most profound aspect is oppressive parenting. The imposition of the curfew could disable the ability of teenagers in determining their choices in life. The basis of this obstacle might be the fear of children about bout being severely punished when doing something wrong that dissatisfied their parents. That fear would control the children not only childhood but also adulthood, which would affect their job finding or aims in life. Another adverse impact is having a hindrance to maturity. Since they are always eager to satisfy their parents, they become dependent on their parents. Not only would it restrict adolescents from asserting, learning and negotiating to deal with what the real world can offer, but they would also tend to be less adaptable and might get culture shocked if raised under curfew law.
In conclusion, there are both advantages and disadvantages to teenage curfew. However, the merits outweigh the drawbacks.
Please feel free to comment. Thank you!Dear,
Overall, it's quite a good essay.
However, I think you can add more contents in the first and last paragraphs to keep this essay more balanced.
And there's a very basic grammar mistake: There haveare some negatives ...
Regards.
