Increased sales of leisure items. GRE(argument)

The following appeared in a memorandum from a vice president of the Megamart department store chain.

"For the third year in a row, the average household income in our country has risen significantly. That prosperity means that families are likely to be spending more time and money on leisure activities. Megamart stores should therefore concentrate on enlarging and promoting its line of products typically used in leisure activities: athletic and outdoor equipment, televisions, gourmet cooking equipment, and luggage and travel accessories."

This proposal from the vice-president, which proposes for an increase promotion of stuff used in leisure activities, is not meritorious. There are a lot of fallacies in this line of reasoning which must be addressed.

The average household income in the country might have risen significantly over the past three years. But this gives just the average value. The Megamart department stores might cater the needs of those people whose income might not have risen significantly, or for that matter, might not have risen at all. There is no data, which shows the income of a particular locality or the degree of change of income over the years in the particular region where the department stores is located. The class of people whom the Megamart stores serve also needs to be specified.

It is a big blunder to generalize that a higher income will always incline people to engage themselves in leisure activities. There is a good possibility for people to wish and opt for a higher standard of living. Some might want to invest the increased income in their savings. There might also be cases wherein people might want to clear any past debts and not indulge in any leisure activities.

Even if we consider that most of them might want spend their time in leisure, they might want to indulge themselves in some constructive hobby, which might not require any stuff from the department stores at all. Also, there are many more items and equipments that people can make use of in their free time, than the list of items that the author has mentioned.

Therefore, this proposal from the author to concentrate on the sales of the products used in leisure activities is not adequately justified. It needs some strong corroboration from facts and figures to gain sufficient credibility. The present reasoning will not guarantee an increase in sales in these commodities.

This is a good point. Although, you can state it in a different way... That is, the average household income can also rise if the rich earn more than they did in the past. In that case, the average may not indicate the purchasing power of the actual consumers of the megamart.

The other points are pertinent. An additional point maybe the fact that, the trend has taken place over a very short period i.e. three years.

You are definitely getting better with each essay. Good luck with your GRE. I'm also thinking about taking it this August.

P.S. Why don't you post the GRE (Analysis of an issue) essay?

You write very well Rajveer! Also, thanks for the great help you have been giving people here at EF.

I see no errors to correct, but I'll point out that the rising income might correspond to inflation and also a rising cost of living! Each of these deserves to be mentioned in a brief paragraph or part of a paragraph.

The fact that this is a "megamart" suggests that it caters to all sorts of people, so I think your paragraph about the possibility of its customers not being represented in those whose income has increased is not as strong as it would be if it focused on a rising cost of living.