PG, Bahareh, you are so great. Thanks for the help you gave here.
Lee Jae Hong, I'm glad we have you as a member of our forum!
I think you should use more simple sentences to get more accuracy.
Yes, this is a good idea. When the sentences are long, there is probably an error. Work with short sentences as you prepare for toefl.
For example:
Those who think that the purpose of teaching is not to make a lot of money might believe that there instructional quality has nothing to do with salary. However, I do not agree. The status of teachers, rather than raise teachers' income, plays a pivotal role in improving the quality of education in this highly competitive society.
There are two major aspects; to motivate teachers to have improved skills and to attract competitive people to
this teaching positions.---I agree!! The work of teachers is as important as the work of doctors!
As PG mentioned, statue is not the right word. A statue is a piece of art, like the Statue of Liberty.
Moreover, as far as status of teachers' jobs are concerned, it is more effective to give higher salaries to teachers.
Practice typing the essay with the correct grammar by using the corrections here. If you have time, post another draft below. :-)