I am planning to take the IELTS test. Here is one of my essay. I really need to improve my writing skills in order to get the best preparation for the IELTS test.
BUSINESS AND CULTURAL CONTACT
Topic: Some people think the increasing business and cultural contact between countries brings many positive effects. Others say it causes the loss of national identities.
Discuss both sides and give your opinion
In modern society, the explosion of Internet plays an important role in our daily life as well as contacting business and culture between countries. The growth of commercial and traditional interactions between different nations all over the world have many beneficial influences while some people believe that their traditional culture will be lost. This is a controversial issue that requires further discussion before a specific conclusion can be reached.
In the first place, some people are in favor of the idea that widening international exchange, both in fields of business and culture, have made a positive impact not only a nation but also its dwellers. Obviously, people from different countries will have mutual understanding and work together as a unique group. As a result, they are able to enhance education with a suitable program and broaden their horizon with latest technologies all over the world. For example, current dominant countries such as the United State, Great Britain, and Europe can give an opportunity to others economies to develop through training abroad students, providing welfare, exchanging scientists and teaching medical.
However, others argue that traditional culture will be lost in the globalization of business and cultural heritage. Although traditional rituals are the essences of a nation, residents should open mind to the revolution of technology, commercial strategies, medical treatment and so forth. Actually, our world is changing day by day so that people should try their best to adapt to new and wonderful economies but still keep their own wholesome heritage. For instances, though many international corporations have invested in Viet Nam with novel strategies of business as well as foreign styles, local residents still have traditional culture such as Vietnamese dress, conical leaf, beef noodles,..etc.
Conclusion, both views are true in some aspects when interactions in the domain of business and cultural between different countries are developed rapidly. From my perspective, governments should impose tighter regulations on commercial trading and traditional identities so as to protect national heritage.
Hi, Im not a professional one in writing, but for IELTS task 2 I suppose you should not use "will" in any term. You should try "would" or "might" instead of it :)
Viet Nam -> Vietnam
Good luck mate :)