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IELTS: The increasing business and culture contact between countries.


adriennelin 11 / 30  
Oct 27, 2010   #1
Some people say that the increasing business and culture contact between countries has the positive effect; others say it would lose the countries' identities. Discuss.

Globalisation has increased the integration between nations in terms of economic, cultural, and social aspects. Some hold the view that the influences are beneficial, while some suggest that it might therefore reduce the identities of nations. In this essay, the advantageous impacts as well as the disadvantageous ones will be presented.

To begin with, the economic activities increased enormously through the process of globalisation. For instance, foreign companies can set their production factories in the areas where human resources are less expensive, such as China and Vietnam, to reduce their costs. This can also improved the local economies in these developing countries. Nevertheless, these industrial activities are often lack of regulations. Worker safety and pollution, as an illustration, are sometimes ignored, which can lead to serious problem like fatality rates in the areas.

Furthermore, the growth of international contacts would reduce the uniqueness of the countries. A good example for this is the phenomenon of Americanisation. The United States of America is so powerful in every field that people in other countries assimilate into American culture, from huge fast food chains to the "English Mania" in countries like China and Japan. It is a fact that the fast food culture has branched into places where there were originally an incredible diversity of cuisines. In addition, the dominant status of English as a lingua franca has resulted in language death.

To sum up, it is no doubt that the influences of globalisation can be both beneficial and detrimental, by means of economy and culture. Nonetheless, we have to keep in mind that it is exactly because of the diversity that makes our planet exceptional, and it is certainly that we do not lose our values as well as identities when making our lives better.

(293 words)

labroy 2 / 4  
Oct 27, 2010   #2
To begin with, the economic activities between countries increased enormously through the process of globalisation.

This can also improved the local economies in these developing countries.

For example, wW orker safety and environmental issues such as pollution, as an illustration, are sometimes ignored, which can lead to that can cause serious problemslikesuch as high fatality rates in the areas.
dumi 1 / 6,929 1592  
Oct 27, 2010   #3
Hi,

Nevertheless, these industrial activities are often lack of regulations.-------------- In my view, there are no universal laws and regulations to control environmental pollution, although individual countries have their own set of laws and regulators in this regard. So, I feel it is safer to say this idea as;

Nevertheless, these industrial activities often have less concern about environmental factors such as ...
bemytthm 3 / 5  
Oct 28, 2010   #4
- Advantageous impacts: impact is usually used with negative meanings'
--> It might be better if using :influence,obvious merits, postitive point, plus point... instead .

- Why in first paragraph where you were supporting for the advantageous influences, you continued supporting the opposite ideas? It's my view that each paragraph should support each separate idea. Therefore, in the first paragraph, you should say about the positive, and the second one you can support the negative.

- It does not matter to refer to the negative impacts in the first paragraph or vice versa. However, remember that you refer to the opposite ideas and then to refute it. That's also a very effective way to support for your main ideas.
OP adriennelin 11 / 30  
Oct 29, 2010   #5
Thank you labroy, dumi, Taniad for sentence/word advise.
I'll be careful with the word choices and collocations.

bemytthm
Thanks for the collocations you provide. It's very helpful. As for my second paragraph, I was trying to analize the good/bad sides of globalisation on economic activities... Arrr! I still can't get the hang of the whole refuting the counterclaim thing... I thought using "nevertheless" was refuting my previous content...@@"
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,339 129  
Nov 2, 2010   #6
Arrr! I still can't get the hang of the whole refuting the counterclaim thing... I thought using "nevertheless" was refuting my previous content.

You did! That is correct. But it could be much better. You could spend a whole paragraph expressing the entire argument that would be made by someone who disagrees with you, and at the end of that paragraph use 1 or 2 sentences to show why your way of thinking is still better, nevertheless. :-)

If you express all of the opponent's argument and then do away with all of it, your own argument will be stronger.


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