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Increasing Crime And Solutions For Governments - IELTS task 2


joe9 1 / -  
Sep 1, 2014   #1
In many cities crime is increasing. Why do you think this happening? What can governments do to help reduce crime levels? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Throughout history, crime has been an intrinsic part of human societies. Over the last few years, crime levels in many cities worldwide has increased dramatically. To find solutions to this problem, it is imperative that we understand what causes it. I believe there are a few reasons although the are largely economic and education related.

For one, unemployment can drive people to commit a range of both violent and non-violent offence. For instance, in poor countries, such as India, a great percentage of population does not have a stable, full-time job. Because the poorest members of population often are without reliable income, they have to turn to robberies or muggings to survive and feed their families. In response to this cause, governments could promote and subsidize businesses that create job opportunities for the deprived. In this way, a lot of the populace can be pulled from the streets.

Secondly, people without at least basic education can often turn to criminals as they can not fit in society. For example, taking a closer look into the education histories of these individuals, it can be found that most of them have not completed secondary education. In other words, poorly educated citizens can become outcasts that are looked down upon by the rest. Thus, governments could provide people with ways to fix their lack of schooling, like part-time training in various trades.

In conclusion, authorities can considerably decrease crime levels by providing employment and schooling opportunities. This way people would not suffer from the aforementioned problems and become contributing members of society.

Any possible improvements are greatly welcome.
vangiespen - / 4,134 1449  
Sep 1, 2014   #2
Aside from some grammatical problems that I will offer corrections for, I have to tell you that I admire the work you did on this essay. Your writing shows a clear understanding of the prompt and that you gave ample thought to the question being posed before you wrote the essay. I know this essay will be written under time constraint so let me assure you that the essence of the essay was clear even with the time constraint. Now for the grammatical corrections:

part of human societies .

- human society .

I believe there are a few reasons although the are largely economic and education related.

- ... the reasons are...

both violent and non-violent offence

- non-violent offences

a great percentage of population does

- of the population...

the poorest members of population often are without reliable income

- ... of the population...

In response to this cause

job opportunities for the deprived

- for the jobless .

Secondly, people without at least basic education can

-... without at least a basic...

,it can be found that

- shows that...

This way people would not suffer from the aforementioned problems and become contributing members of society.

- ... problems, they can avoid committing crimes, and...

I hope you won't mind my grammatical suggestions which are highlighted in blue :-)
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Sep 1, 2014   #3
For one,First,unemployment is one of the reasons that can drive people to commit a range of both violent and non-violent offences . For instance, in poor countries, such as India, a great percentage of population does not have a stable, full-time job. Because the poorest members of population (do not repeat the same idea) Due to this reason, such people often are without reliable income, they have to turn to robberies or muggings to survive and feed their families. In response to this cause, governments could promote and subsidize businesses that create job more opportunities for the deprived. In this way, a lot of the populace can be pulled from the streets.


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