IELTS writing for increasing of elderly in the country

The number of old people are increasing in many countries. Some people think this cause problems, while other think old people play an important role. Discuss both views and give your opinion, include examples.

more and more elder people around

In many countries, there is a significant increase on number of elder citizen. Some people raise their concern of that to bring negative impact to the society such as the increase of financial burden on tax payers. While others treat elder people's skills and experiences as a vital resource for many of startup companies. In my view, old people are still capable for many positions than just as the baby sitters at home.

It is true that many societies had suffering the problem of drop on revenues and raise on expenses which is the result of unbalancing of population of older and younger genders. As the number of old people increase, they will trigger the demand of government spending such as medical, retirement resubmissions and social welfare. This lead the taxpayers to pay more to maintain the healthy budget level. For example, in Hong Kong, as a cost of medical and social welfare had continually increased year by year, there is a voice on collect more tax from business sectors and workers to ensure the government to get sufficient earns to pay the debts.

Instead of seeing elderly as a burden to the society, people are trying to explore the potential of the elder generation and successfully converting those to the beneficial effect of the business and country. It is no doubt that elderly got several identities that hardly found on the generation this day. For instance, the experiences of the industry they acquired in the past will be a good advice for many youngsters who work in the same business.

In my opinion, elder and retired people can still be able to re-enter to the workforce in a different position such as consultancy or advisory. For example, in Hong Kong, a group of retired professionals form an organization aimed to provide numerous of services for the startup company. They called themselves the "company doctor" and they are helping significant of small to medium corporations on different areas such as financial, funding and marketing. And it is clearly the prime example of how vital to the country of having the contribution of old people.

In conclusion, the increase of old people could be the burden to financial system to the city in a way that it raise up the spending on the government. However, elder generation still be the advantage to the society for their abilities which be of precious resources to amount of companies.

@smally01, while I admire your desire to write so many English words to help increase your LR and GRA score, writing 407 words is unrealistic in a pen and paper exam room setting. Specially when you only have 40 minutes to outline, draft, review, correct, and finalize the content of your paper before submission for scoring. You should not write more than 275-300 words for this essay. Personally, I have always told my students that writing 275 words at the most allows them to have enough time to apply edits and changes to the content at the end of the drafting process. The same should apply to you. Remember the most basic rules for successfully writing a task 2 essay:

1. No more than 3 body paragraphs
2. Do not discuss more than one topic per paragraph
3. Do not write less than 3 but no more than 5 sentences per paragraph.
4. Do not present new ideas for discussion in concluding paragraph. Just summarize the essay and present a closing sentence to end the discussion.

Do not present information in the opening paraphrase that is not included in the original prompt such as


This is not a direct question essay. It is a comparison with personal opinion essay so the actual discussion of facts and reasons should only be done within the 3 body paragraphs. The opening paragraph should be used in the manner it is intended for which is the paraphrasing of the original prompt, without changing nor adding information to the discussion. The same rules apply to the mistake that you made in the concluding paragraph.

@Holt thank you very much for your comment. It is my bad on trying to tell readers what's on my mind, but eventually without having proper technique on handling the language make my sentences bulky... I underestimate the power of language and I can't handle it well (or even properly)

It is so true that I will not have enough time if I were in the real exam with that question and giving such the answer... In fact I was by chance attended the IELTS exam. And to be frank I only get 5.5 for the writing (General Training). It sound to me it is impossible to do all (generating idea, forming outline, making draft, proofread it, correct it) in that 40 minutes time, especially you are sitting in the exam hall. Last time I was only hand out my works without and proofreading or correction...

Anyway, thanks for your time and please be with us on that tough battle of english learning (to me it is too difficult).