Unanswered [8] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

The increasing level of fatness in children becomes a problem and the government is doing nothing


adrian21 15 / 17 3  
Apr 3, 2016   #1
Some people think that the government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children, while others think it is the fault of the parents.

Discuss both sides and give your opinion.


The increasing level of fatness in children becomes a problem in these days, with several individuals argue that it is the responsibility of government, while the others blame the parents. This essay will discuss both point of views.

With regard to the obesity in children, people believe it is because of the government. This is because government does not create a firm law about healthy, especially in handling body weight limitation, resulting in the increase of children who have obesity problem. Government of Japan, for example, forces their citizens, particularly in youth, to have ideal body. If children have obesity problem, their family have face the consequences such as have to pay tax to government. As a result, japanese children do not have problem in excess weight, all of them have ideal body. Consequently, government must pay more attention to overcome obesity problem in young generation.

However, I do not believe this argument stand up to reality, because this is also a responsibility of their parents. Parent have much greater control in their children's life, including in providing food and drink. In America, for instance, many parents give junk food, such as Mc Donald and Pizza Hut, to their child since childhood. Children become used to eating junk food, even make it as their favourite food, which cause their weight increase dramatically. Therefore, parents have more important role in controlling the weight of their children.

To conclude, although some people argue government is responsible to obesity problem, I would argue parent is the most responsible to make sure their children have ideal and healthy body. Government and parents should work together to improve the level of healthiness in children.

La Baso 15 / 22  
Apr 3, 2016   #2
dear writer, allow me to give little opinion
With regards to the obesity in children, better if you use s in the end of the word :)
This is because this is due to the fact that the government does not create a firm law about healthy,

believe this argument stands up to reality ........

keep writing :)
Ester Napitupulu 18 / 25 3  
Apr 3, 2016   #3
Hi adrian,

I would like to give you alternative for your sentences.

With regard to the child obesity, people believe this is Government's responsibility due to there is no regulation to prevent it, as a result there is an increasing number of children who have obesity problem.


Home / Writing Feedback / The increasing level of fatness in children becomes a problem and the government is doing nothing