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Increasing number of criminality is certainly a topical issue, as so many felonies are found today.


Ucha MSN 17 / 26 4  
Oct 28, 2016   #1
Each year, the crime rate increases.
What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?


Increasing number of criminality is certainly a topical issue, as so many felonies are found today. There are several causes for this, but also a number of measures we can take which I will outline now.

The main cause is probably the highest number of social asymmetry and unemployment. As soon as fulfill daily basis and suffering from poverty, Individuals have to ride for a fall such as thieving and robbery. Furthermore, the key cause is the growth of juvenile deliquesces. It means that people, especially youngster, are tempted to experience new action and consume forbidden goods that harmful for them even their surroundings. For instance, most of adolescences that perform criminality such as affray, ravish, and embellishment are affected by drug and alcohol. Finally, many areas of public places and streets still have minimum security from proper authorities. As the result, evil doers utilize their chance to do crime action because they are not protected by policeman or security guard and CCTV.

As a matter of fact, there are various steps that can be taken to lessen the problem. Firstly, governments should provide funds for the pauper. Hence, the authorities need to investigate the people who have the right to get donations, for example the community who are living in slum areas. Another positive development would be for the educator. Teachers and parents as role models have to teach their children pedagogically since they were born in order to prevent them from criminal activity. Lastly, every area should get custody by security and advanced technology like CCTV. This would help to minimize and protect the crime stems.

To sum up, we can say that presence of poverty, uneducated youngster, and limited pacification are the keys causes behind this trend. However, government, educator, and advancement of technology together can reduce the impact.

Yonathan 46 / 65 5  
Oct 28, 2016   #2
Hi Ucha
Let me give you some correction

The Increasing number of criminality ...

As soon as fulfill fulfil daily basis and suffering ...
... are tempted to experience a new action and consume ...
For instance, most of the adolescences that ...
... evil doers utilize utilise their chance to do crime ...

... to get donations, for example (,) the community who ...
This would help to minimize minimise and protect the crime stems.

Thank you..
Fadhilahumar91 61 / 73 6  
Oct 28, 2016   #3
hi...

There are several causes for this, but also a number of measures we ... ( it will be better when you make a clear position in your task response because it can enhance your score. The most important aspect that you should give specific causes, increasing the number of criminality)

the best paragraph consist of 3 sentences. So, make your paragraph longer in the next writing.

The main cause of a large number of criminality is probably the highest number of social asymmetry and unemployment.(Explain why do you think that is the main causes to support your main idea)) As soon as fulfill daily basis ...

(I can say that your explanation are not sufficient to describe that social asymmetry and unemployment are the main causes of the problem)it makes your essay lower in coherence and cohesion

As a matter of fact, there are various steps ...

This is additional idea that you never mentioned before. As i mention before when you explain idea but those are never mention in the task response before i will reduce your coherence and cohesion.

I hope my suggestion is useful for you, keep writing
I believe when you try to write carefully, it will enhance your writing
Thank you


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