Nowadays, the figure of people ... national shows...
Your restatement should have stopped at this point. she next part of this sentence is notpout of the original presentation. If you meant to presentthat a part of your response to the direct question, then you should have framed it as such rather than a port of the original prompt to avoid restatement Inaccuracies.
Give reasons for your answer ...knowledge or experiences.
This instruction is with regards to thesis statement. You prove that you understood the question through your direct response.-This direct statement of facts will portray your task accuracy in relation to the discussion topic. Note that you are not being asked to restate the instruction because the restatement ends with your representation of the topic and reasson. The thesis statement then sets the discussion tone for the 2 reasoning paragraphs.
There are many obvious ... for entertainment companies.
Such sentences are only paragraph fillers. Jask' reasoning paragraphs score better when establishing topic sentences are used at the start. These topic sentences are later on accompanied by transition sentences for C&C scoring purposes. Every sentence you use must quickly move your reasoning foward within 5 clear and understandable sentences.
More importantly, the producer predicted the needs of most
This is an example of an unrelated discussion topic. It created a lack of coherence in the paragraph. Always use a transition sentence that can connect the 2 topics. If these are not related, then the paragraph lacks development and cohesiveness in relation to coherence.
In my opinion,
Cannot be a part of the conclusion. You may use the phrase in the reasoning paragraphs since the whole essay is based on your personal opinion. The last paragraph should simply restate the discussion in summary form.