An increasing number of people are concerned about the benefits of studying the past in schools

Topic: Learning History

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task
To some people studying the past has little value in the modern world. Why do you think it is important to do so? What will be the effect if children are not taught history ?

Nowadays, an increasing number of people are concerned about the benefits of studying the past in schools. More specifically, whether history can be substituted by other significant subjects is a controversial issue. Personally, I think it is not wise choice to replace history by other subjects for many reasons.

First of all, studying history is not restricted to what happened in the past, but also with regard to the valuable human experiences. By this I mean, if people know the mistakes that had been done and caused in the past, they will avoid doing the same mistakes again. Take Vietnam as an example, that is, Vietnamese people fought a lot of wars in the past, but now they live peacefully because of some valued experienced that occurred years ago.

Besides, studying the past of other nations could give the opportunity in terms of knowing more about their society. This would help in boosting friendship bonding between different countries.

Moreover, children are the people who lead the world in the future, so they should prepare for this role. Basically, the knowledge which children acquire from history is one of the most important sources for their understanding of human society and other fields such as science. It is more likely that history can give a good information about the development of some inventions which could really helpful for inventors in the present of future.

To recapitulate, it is undeniable that history plays a vital role in our human society because of its useful experience. Things happened in the past either positive or negative, we still benefit those in the best way.

Can you guys correct my grammar, vocabulary and give me an estimated score ? That 'd be amazing

Hoang, you misunderstood the prompt requirement. You are not discussing the correct information based upon the original prompt presentation. Your overall score for this essay will be 1 because of the obvious inability to understand English instructions. Here is the correct prompt restatement and subsequent start of the body of paragraphs in relation to the original prompt.

There are a number of people who believe that studying history does not pose any benefits to the students of today. I, on the other hand, believe that there is still a significant importance and value to the study of history. It is my belief that there will be negative effects upon the children of today if they do not learn about their past in the form of history lessons. In this essay, I will explain 3 negative effects that can occur if the young students of today are prevented from becoming familiar with historical facts and figures.

For starters, a negative effect of the lack of history teaching can be seen in...

Additionally, if a student is prevented from such learning...

Considering that the study of history helps to prevent...

These are the reasons why I concluded that the lack of historical study can result in...

Compare what you wrote with the format I provided and you will easily see the prompt deviation on your part that resulted in a mistaken prompt discussion. It is important that you understand the prompt before you even begin to draft the essay. I cannot repeat this instruction often enough to the reviewers here. Always ask questions when you don't understand the prompt. You have the chance to improve your English comprehension skills while you are still reviewing so take advantage of the situation. If you don't then you will risk receiving a failing score during the actual test.

@Holt
Thanks for your feedbacks. Perhaps I did not read the topic carefully. I ' ll try next time

it is not a wise choice
that had been made and what caused them in the past
because of some valuable experience
And also experiences do not "occur", they are rather "gained".
Hope this helps :))