Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

IELTS Task 2 - Increasing the number of sports facilities to improve public health

kimanhlethi1702 1 / -  
Oct 21, 2020   #1
Topic: Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required


The substantial economic growth results in a higher living standard with various demands for house, beauty, and importantly healthcare. The number of sports facilities has increased rapidly since the health issues were no longer a scarce problem, which creates two different aspects under serve discussions.

The sport centers with its located flexible convenience and popularity help people easily reach the nearest location. After a long strenuous working day, in the normal run of things, people desire to invigorate themself by physical exercises at local sports centers, regarded as a friendly-environmental solution to intensify public health improvement. Besides, it brings the prospect of protecting the environment from public transport's gas emission, people wasting time on traffic jams will quickly arrive at sports centers by few steps instead. Furthermore, people can reduce expenditure on traffic fees and generate opportunities cost for other personal kinds of stuff.

However, the formation of sports facilities means higher tax income will be imposed on individuals to compensate for the money paid on infrastructure development. It is quite uneven for those who prefer taking part in extracurricular or outdoor activities to doing gyms with support from modern types of equipment. They would rather practice smooth and natural exercises such as running around the park than do vigorous exercises. The apparent analyses, as well as careful regulations, is vital to balance and meet people's health needs.

In conclusion, while the benefits of the extend of sports facilities are undeniable, I would contend that a detailed plan based on the demand and building expenditure will contribute to the compatible agreement.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,280 3982  
Oct 21, 2020   #2
You have written a very long essay that does not follow the discussion requirements as provided in the original prompt. The paraphrased paragraph makes little sense to the reader and does not relate to the original presentation in any way. That is because you have created your own information for the presentation instead of merely restating the original information. Your overall essay discusses your personal opinion alone, based on non-related discussion points with regards to the original prompt. Though you wrote a good essay, I doubt this will get a passing score because you have not given the discussion based on the required elements of public opinion discussion and a personal opinion. Therefore, the passing score for this presentation may be difficult to reach. The lack of clarity and prompt deviation are the biggest problems that you have.

Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 - Increasing the number of sports facilities to improve public health