The increasing rate of immigration is causing substantial changes in societies

What are the main reasons of immigration? To what consequences can it lead?

Write at least 250 word

In this day and age, along with the advancement of transportation, it is observed that there is an increasing rate of immigration, causing vital changes in society. This tendency could be attributed to several factors, and it could gravely affect the nation in different ways.

On one hand, there are two main contributors to the decision to move to a new environment of immigrants. First of all, the image of cities and metropolises is likely to be sugar-coated in the eyes of people from rural or under-improved areas, promising to provide a wide range of well-paid jobs as well as a modern, convenient life full of entertainment and self-pleasure. Unable to resist the temptation, many chose to leave their hometown to seek a life-changing opportunity in those promised lands. Another noticeable motive behind this trend is wars and conflicts, which have plagued the lives of people in their motherland, threatening their lives and forcing them to search for help in foreign countries. Being placed in such a life-endangering situation, those people have no choice but to immigrate to other nations.

On the other hand, the sudden flow of immigrants could pose some great threats to society. The first noticeable severe impact is the lack of a labor force in the countryside, which is the result of young and middle-aged people, the main group of available workers, shifting to urban areas in search of job opportunities. This leads to the circumstance in which it's extremely difficult for the rural areas to improve and evolve to the same extent as cities. Furthermore, a large number of immigrants could cause overpopulation in some areas, nay, leading to a ripple effect and harming society with a slew of negative consequences related to this issue, such as the housing crisis, increasing competition in the job market, and an increase in crime rates.

In conclusion, governments should focus on the causes of immigration, which include the desire for better work prospects, wars, and conflicts, to deal with the harmful outcomes of it, consisting of the underdevelopment of rural areas and concerns related to overpopulation.

The prompt restatement is ill effective for a number of reasons. The first, is that is deviates to a totally unrelated topic prior to the actual restatement. The restatement should only be one to two sentences long and should not include information about unrelated discussions (not included in the original discussion). The second, is that the writer's opinion is not clearly stated in the presentation. Rather than stating the reasons for migration, he just repeated what the discussion will be about. This does not establish a discussion platform for the succeeding paragraphs and does not meet the task accuracy requirement regarding opinion clarity within the introduction paragraph. In other words, the first paragraph is an epic fail and will cost the essay precious score deductions that could have been used to pass the test instead.

One cannot compare the reasons for migration with its results. Those are different topics that emanate from different discussion points. The writer has incorrectly used the transition phrases "On the one/other hand" in this case, which will result in GRA deductions as he shows a lack of proper sentence formation using the correct transition phrases.

These reasons alone are enough for me to safely say that the writer will not pass the test. He cannot pass when he does not know how to properly format his responses in a manner suitable to the prompt.

@Holt
Thank you so much for your precious advice on my work here, it's really effective in providing me a clearer vision of IELTS writing test =) However, don't you think there are too much unnecessary personal attacks in your feedback for it to be considered friendly and polite guidance? I've had a look at your previous comments on other people's essays so I guess thats is your favorite manner in giving instruction tho =)))