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It is increasingly concerned that the recycling of household garbage is not adequate to the needs


thuhuyen461 5 / 6 4  
Jul 6, 2018   #1
please give me an IELTS score for this essay. Thanks!

making people recycle more of their waste



Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

My answer:

It is increasingly concerned that the recycling of household garbage is inadequate. Some suggest that legislation should be introduced to make recycling an obligation. I am in total agreement with this perspective for a number of reasons.

First, legal requirements can urge everyone to protect ourselves by recycling waste. As a matter of fact, human have always had an ingrained bond to the habitat we are thriving on for centuries. Thereby, our eating, breathing, working and waste can have an immediate impact on the environment negatively and vice versa. People can sustain their lives only if they are required by laws to understand the urgency of preserving nature through recycling practices.

Second, making recycling a civic duty would minimise our environmental tax payments. It seems logical that the priority of any individual should be to cover his daily expenses, for instance, payments for provisions and services. Certainly, people would sooner contribute positively to society through waste recycling obligations than burden themselves with additional taxes on low recycling.

Lastly, I suggest that enforcing laws on waste recycling unite people. It is no longer a compulsion but a healthy lifestyle bonding with us. For example, in my high school, we created a game app to promote recycling. That a team of students posted achievements on it and received a star when they recycled something also boosted our competitiveness and solidarity.

Briefly, nobody can deny the household recycling is mandatory but in fact has not become a social habit. However, I believe owing to the law enforcement, more waste will be processed to ensure our future prosperity.
Cabradasbrisa 4 / 8 2  
Jul 6, 2018   #2
Greetings, thuhuyen461!
Honestly, I found your essay interesting, but there are some details which you could improve:

Introduction - in the first lines of your introduction, you rephrased the first phrase of the essays prompt ("Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled"). In this case, I would recommend you, instead of simply making that statement, write an initial phrase to contextualize the reader on the subject you will talk about. You could, for instance, state the need for recycling in today's society.

Development - in the second paragraph, you could clarify about which "legal requirements" you are talking about, so as to avoid a too vague argument, and don't forget the dot in end of the last phrase.

Conclusion - you could mix your last two paragraphs into one so as to write your conclusion. In this case, you may want to start talking about the benefits of recycling - but, please, keep it brief, as you may have already stated them at the beginning of your text - and, then, reinforce the need of law enforcement to increase recycling in the cities.

Spelling: "minimize", not "minimise".

Arguments: this is a personal view, but I would recommend you suggest giving "prizes" (lower taxes, for instance) for those who recycle, additionally to punishing those who don't. This would give of essays a less "authoritarian" look.

I hope these tips help you in your essays, and, please, remember that practicing is the key for acing your tests (sorry for the clichè).
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4772  
Jul 7, 2018   #3
Huyen, your TA score will be adversely affected by your mistake in paraphrasing the prompt with regards to your response to the instructions. You changed the prompt response and that could have very well led you to go totally off the mark and discuss something irrelevant to the prompt. Luckily, your discussion paragraphs remained in track so the reasoning is correct and help to pull your TA consideration a bit. Your scoring, per bracket, I think could be well within the following ranges:

TA - 5 - your biggest mistake in the development of the essay was the wrong response. Let me outline it here for you:

Original Question: To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste?

Your Response: Some suggest that legislation should be introduced to make recycling an obligation. I am in total agreement with this perspective for a number of reasons. (Wrong Response)

Correct Response: I partially support the need for legislation to encourage people to reuse their trash whenever possible. I will explain a number of reasons in relation to my point of view in the following paragraphs.

The partial approval of legislation that I wrote about is based upon how you explained the need for civic duty as well. A civic duty does not need to be legislated. It is not a law but rather more of a sense of fairness, decency, and what is proper in terms of actions to be taken in a given instance such whether or not to recycle and why.

C&C - 5 - The paragraphs could use more development in terms of explanations. All of your paragraphs should have at least a transition sentence at the end to help make the paragraph feel complete rather than being under developed.. The writing feels incomplete most of the time.

LR - 5 - you are using words that are simple enough and you are spelling certain terms, such as "mimimise" properly because you are taking a British English exam and the word is spelled that way in British English. You show a definite grasp of the differences between word use in British and American English representations. However, your grammar is still too simple to be considered advanced in terms of British English usage.

GRA - 5 - Your sentences need work in terms of structure and complexity. You have more simple sentences than complex sentence presentations. You may want to work on your complex sentence presentations in your next essay. Create a balance between simple and complex sentences per paragraph, but don't create run-on sentences.

Based on my observations, I believe your final score will be anywhere from a 5 to a 5.50 for this particular essay.
feliciatu 4 / 5  
Jul 7, 2018   #4
I am totally agree with ... the following reasons.
Legal requirements are used to urge ...


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