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toefl - independence from parents, or living with family?


shack555 2 / 3  
Mar 5, 2013   #1
The man's freedom was always a cause worth fighting for. Even in the smallest communities like the family, young members seek one day their freedom. The right timing for this action is a matter of controversy. Are young adults able to jugde when this time comes? Are the parents able to leave their strong sentiments behind and let go youngsters so as to make their own beginning and set sails for their own life?

One of the key positions of child psychology is that parents should have a role of a moderator and guider in the upbringing of their child. They should be able to be by their side and support them while leaving them free to explore their possibilities and characters.

When difficult situations arouse parents should be protectors giving advice and love without taking away their acceptance of their childs'choices and actions. Such situation would be the child's need to live on its own and make a new start.When young people are not brought up ideally, then they may not have learned themselves and trusted their strengths and possibilities so as to make choices of their own. At these situations they seem to linger more than usual in their parents protection and support never trusting themselves strong enough to live their own life.

On the other hand there are situations where children are not ready to go practically or mentally and flee by themselves without having their parents consent and support.

There should be a medium solution for these matters. After well judged discussions and communications young people should demonstrate their parents and themselves that it is the right time to go, that they are strong and able to support economically their actions and that they are confident to act on their own. Parents on the other hand should listen and give consent although it may be difficult to be deprived of their childrens' companion.

temptprovidence 8 / 163 35  
Mar 5, 2013   #2
good points and good expression... commas matter a lot to colour up the sense of sentence... you have avoided commas a lot... hope i wasnt critical...

BEST OF LUCK... :)
OP shack555 2 / 3  
Mar 6, 2013   #3
Thank you for the time to correct me and quick response!
You were not critical at all. Thank you :)
tsungu 3 / 8 2  
Mar 6, 2013   #4
The man's freedom...
A man's freedom....

....young members seek one day their freedom .
Maybe you could write it this way: young members will one day searching for their freedom

Interesting thoughts. Good luck!
temptprovidence 8 / 163 35  
Mar 6, 2013   #5
young members will one day searching for their freedom

young members will be searching for their freedom... i think thats better...
dumi 1 / 6,933 1592  
Mar 7, 2013   #6
The man's freedom was always a cause worth fighting for. Even in the smallest communities like the family, young members seek one day their freedom. The right timing for this action is a matter of controversy.

... awesome start :) ... very nice!

Are young adults able to jugde when this time comes?

Can young adults judge the right time for them to be independent?

Are the parents able to leave their strong sentiments behind and let go youngsters so as to make their own beginning and set sails for their own life?

... I'm favoring the word "Can" to "are" :D
Very impressive introduction. However, I wish you express your view on this in the intro itself. Then your examiner would be navigated in your desired direction :)

role of a moderator and guiderguide

... the right word is "guide"
Your writing skills are excellent. However, you should pay attention to the desired structure for this task. Your body paras should include specific examples for your reasoning.

Good luck!
OP shack555 2 / 3  
Mar 8, 2013   #7
Thank you for your thoughts. Really helpfull..


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