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TOEFL Independent TASK_Family or Friends teach people more important lessons

fhmashayekhi 2 / 5  
Sep 10, 2015   #1
People are mostly affected by their friends and family and learn the most important lessons from them. Some people argue that whether the most precious points are learned by family or friends. Childhood, when people have the most ability to learn, is mainly spend by parent. In addition, except adolescence, people rely more on parents than friends. For these reasons, I believe that we learn the more important things from our parents.

During childhood and infancy, children imitate every movements of their parents. Their personality, intelligence, health conditions, and beliefs are influenced during this time more than any other period of life. On the other hand, it is when bulk of the time is spent by family. So, children learn the most vital lessons from family members during childhood. For example, when parents or other siblings play with them, children learn lots of lessons about the way of dealing with their problems, competition, and cooperation. Also, the main criteria, which are based of people thoughts, form during childhood and youth. This beliefs are the key factors in future decision makings. therefore, people are significantly influenced by their family.

In addition, When there is a difficulty in life, family members are the first people that are asked for help. people, also, consult about every aspect of their life with them. This is the result of people faith in their family especially their parents and spouse. This trust is due to family members affection and recognition. For example, a man's wife both know him better than anyone else and have common goals with him, so he depend on her for lots of his decisions. These confidence lead to learning of many important lessons in life through discussions and the time spent with each other. However, people prefer to talk with their friends about many subjects such as their conflict with their parents or spouse and get direction from them, but I think it is not considerable in comparison to the lessons learned from family members.

To sum up, it is concluded that the people learn more important lessons from their family rather than their friends. One reason is associating childhood, the time with high ability to learn, with family members. Second reason is the trust of people in their family that make them the first priority to consult about the most crucial issues in life.
lcturn87 - / 435 236  
Sep 10, 2015   #2
I can help you with some of your essay.

In the first paragraph, I want to give you a suggestion: Some people argue that whether the most precious points life lessons are learned by family or friends. Do you mean that one's childhood is usually spent with his or her parents?

2nd paragraph: "During childhood and infancy , children imitate every movement of their parents." You can delete some words in this sentence: On the other hand, it "This is when the bulk of their time is spent with their family."

In the next sentence, delete the comma after So. The next sentence, delete: the way of .I think you should avoid using main criteria because you would have to be very specific in explaining the criteria. Do you mean that children start to form their own thoughts during childhood?

Start the next sentence with another word: "These beliefs are the key factors in future decision making." Remember to capitalize "Therefore".

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