Unanswered [15] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3


It is an indisputable fact that no other way to find an info is quicker and efficient than internet.


tsenguun 1 / 1  
Feb 21, 2016   #1
It is generally believed that the internet is an excellent means of communication but some people suggest that it may not be the best place to find information.

In recent days, the internet has become a hard-wired tool of everyday life for many people. With development of information technology, people are able to not only connect each other in seconds, but also dig out abundant information and resources. However, plenty of people argue usage of internet leading people to just waste their time. In my opinion, the internet gives more positive effects to people than pressing negative effects.


First of all, it is an indisputable fact that no other way is quicker and efficient than the internet. Instead of wasting your time, which is gold, by travelling around the world, people have opportunity to keep in touch, talk in live-view for free. For instance, in my country, where the gross domestic product (GDP) is lower than average, majority people do not have sufficient money to watch Olympic Games in front of seats. On the other hand, did people watched London Olympic Games through internet in 2012, and had chance to support our athletics, thanks to the technology development.


Secondly, we live in 21st century known as "Information Age" that Individual who has a tons of information source easily perform an incredible feat. Following this, with a higher salary, some occupations which collect and analyze data from internet created. Furthermore, in order to recruit for work, a new technique introduced that human recruit analyze their behavior of traits by observing their Facebook account, what kind of information they posted, what kind of things they were intrigued about.

To sum up, there is no one arguing about internet facilitate our life. As dependence on technology increases, we should improve our ability to draw on internet.

[I do not have a lot of experience to write essay, but i believe practice will help to improve, i will glad anyone who check my grammar and content mistake]
justivy03 - / 2363 607  
Feb 22, 2016   #2
Hi, I would like to share y thoughts on your essay, hopefully enhance it in the process.

- With the development of information technology,
- people are able to not only to connect with each
- plenty of( people - is already a group of individuals )
- people argue usageof internet usage is leading

- wasting your precious time, which is gold, by travellingin traveling
- have the opportunity
- in live-viewwith live feeds for free.
- For instance, in my country, where the gross domestic product (GDP) is lower than average, ( I'm not sure if this is relevant to your essay, I suggest deleting it )

- majority of the people
- On the other hand, did people watched London Olympic Games through internet in 2012, and had chance to support our athletics, thanks to the technology development.( this phrase neither, I suggest the following; Having said that, people watch the Olympic games, live, through the internet, like they were part of the game.

- we should improve our ability to draw onenhance our usage of the internet.

There you have it, I hope my insights and corrections helped.
OP tsenguun 1 / 1  
Feb 22, 2016   #3
Thank you 😁.


Home / Writing Feedback / It is an indisputable fact that no other way to find an info is quicker and efficient than internet.
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳