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Some individuals consider to eat outdoors while others choose home dishes. Which is better?


tantadedanaan 6 / 11 11  
Feb 18, 2015   #1
Hi there!
I am preparing for my future English exam and I just want any advice about the essay I write. So this is it :)

Question:
Eating at restaurants is convenient for many people. But some prefer eating at home because it is much cheaper. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Essay:

Eating has considered as one of the hobbies of most of the people nowadays. Some says that it is a way to relieve stress and to bond with their loved ones. Human needs to eat foods to survive. Some individuals consider to eat outdoors while others choose home dishes. These two sides have there own advantages and disadvantages.

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Vns9x 102 / 236 16  
Feb 18, 2015   #2
Eating has considered now as one of the hobbies of most of the people nowadays . Some says that it is a way to relieve stresses and to bond with their loved ones. Human needs to eat foods to survive This sentence comes out of the blue and it hampers the flow of your essay!. Some individuals consider to eat outdoors while others choose home dishes. These two sides have there own advantages and disadvantages. Your opinion should be the last sentence of your introduction!

Rat race is informal! just let you know as well as hassle-free
go to restaurants
at home are is still the best
pristine is the synonym of clean
Hopefully, it will benefit you as a writer!
OP tantadedanaan 6 / 11 11  
Feb 18, 2015   #3
Thank you Vns9x, I will keep your advice in my mind :)
Godbless
TJLuschen - / 241 203  
Feb 18, 2015   #4
I will continue where Vns9x left off. Also, in your intro, eating is not really a hobby, although maybe going to new restaurants or exploring new cuisines could be hobbies.

Also, you have the wrong format for this essay prompt. If the essay said "compare eating out with staying home to eat and state which your prefer", your format would be ok, although you would have needed to add one more paragraph giving your opinion. But for this prompt, they didn't use "compare" or "discuss both sides", instead they want you to pick one side or the other and only talk about the side you prefer, with each of the two or three body paragraph giving a reason supporting your choice.

Here are my suggestions for your essay:

Everyone has been living in at rat race [a fast-paced] {rat race is a noun and doesn't really work as an adjective} environment today. Because of this, they find that it is more convenient to go at restaurants where [prepared] foods are readily available. It is hassle[-]free[,] especially to those who have no time to prepare for their own meals and do the cleaning afterwards. On the other hand, this kind of set up {"set-up" sounds odd when talking about a restaurant} is very expensive. In my case for example, sometimes I prefer to eat foods outside{"outside" here means "outdoors" - is that what you mean? I think you mean "away from home"} to treat myself or my family if I have extra money. I consider this {"I consider this" sounds odd here without an adjective or noun - maybe "I consider this an attractive option because"} because I do not know how to cook and also to save time.

Nevertheless, others still feel that eating at home are [is] {"eating" is the singular subject here} still the best. Aside from the fact that it is much cheaper, it is also very safe. They [Home cooks] can guarantee that all the foods that fill in their stomach and feed with their relatives are clean{"fresh" seems better here - we talk about the utensils, cutting surfaces, and cookware being clean, but not really the food, unless you are talking about Kosher or Halal food where pork for instance is "unclean"} and well cook[ed]. I also love to eat food at home even though I am already an adult[,] especially those recipes that my mothers [mother] {I assume you only had one! Even your mother-in-law is not really your mother, so this sounded odd} made. Moreover, [ i]ndividuals who are fan[s ] of cooking will pick this side not only to save money but also to secure their families['] health.

Overall, although there are many different ways on how each person satisf[ies] their own craving for foods[, t]he {this was not a complete sentence} bottom line is still the same, that all of them are like to eat.


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