THANK YOU SO MUCH IN ANTICIPATION OF YOUR KIND REVIEW
With an undergraduate degree in Organizational Psychology, I presently work in a financial institution, however I have a burning interest in a career in Development Economics. I have found that these myriad fields actually complement each other in a fascinating way. My academic career has been shaped by wide-ranging interests, which have led me on this evolving odyssey of intellectual curiosity.
Economist Dani Rodrik poses the following questions, "We live in a world where the reach of technology and markets are global, and yet more than a billion men, women, and children live in abject poverty, devoid of their benefits. How can that possibly be? In an age of plenty, what deprives people of adequate food, shelter, clean water, education, good health and enough income to live on with dignity?" While these questions drive academic research across numerous disciplines, the field of Economic Development seeks to realize, creatively design, and implement solutions to urgent social, political, and economic issues. The applied and diverse nature of this discipline, combined with my formative personal experiences, have led me to seek admission into xxx University for a Masters of Development Economics.
I live in Nigeria and I have had the opportunity to see even poorer countries like Sierra Leone and Niger. I want to understand why inequality and extreme poverty are so prevalent today, why is it that in areas so rich in resources there are communities or even whole countries stuck in what seem to be an unending cycle of poverty. I am constantly struck by the contrast between life in these places and abroad. I feel that the campaign about fair trade and aid relief are now impossible to ignore, I feel strongly about improving the lives of the world's poor. Although a desire to contribute financially maybe admirable, it is usually not enough to make a long-term difference. Poverty is about much more than just low income. The lives of these poor people are characterized by risk and uncertainty, often without access to basic needs as healthcare and Education. Such problem rarely have a quick fix and I need to be clear about what I can do and the skills I have to offer.
I am interested in application of econometric methods to assess economies in developing countries in Africa in order to facilitate their sustainable development and drive profits in their native industries. With the knowledge I gain from xxx University I would like to further the study and broaden the scope to encompass other factors that might contribute to economic growth or better assess the benefit or pitfalls of this growth.
I am an excellent candidate for the MDE course at xxx University. I possess the passion, drive, and determination to succeed at all endeavors I choose to take on. Determination is what got my personal statement in front of you today, and I thank you for taking the time to consider my application. Getting a Master's of Economic Development from xxx University will be a solid step in the right direction of attaining my personal and career goals.
Thanks for sharing you application essay.
I enjoyed learning about your interests.
Please review my revision and let me
know what you think.
Comments:
- Is there one problem in Nigeria that plagues you? Describe it in detail.
- What languages do you speak? Is there a way to incorporate this into the essay?
- What statistics do you know?
I apologize I took a screenshot and I'm looking at what's on my screen, and what's visible on essayforum and it's different!! Some editing marks have not been retained?!! Very confusing.
@Chalumeau
Thank you so much for taking your time to review my essay.
I think your correction is more impressive and I will adapt it.
-Is there one problem in Nigeria that plagues you? Describe it in detail.
The problem is Poverty.In Nigeria poverty is constantly on the rise.Almost 100million people living on less than $1 a day,despite the fact that the economy is naturally endowed with immense wealth and also is recording a rising growth in its GDP year after year.The National Bureau of statistics said 70.8% of Nigerians in 2010 live in "absolute poverty" that is about 112.47m out of its 158.423m people of Nigeria.This figure had risen from 54% in 2004.
During the last 3 decades the country has earned over $300billion from crude oil alone.Today this should have transformed into a huge socio-economic development of the country.Instead Nigeria's basic indicators now place her as one of the 25 poorest countries in the world.There is a paradox at the heart of Nigeria as the economy is growing from strength to strength yet Nigerians are getting poorer.
-What languages do you speak? Is there a way to incorporate this into the essay?
I speak Annang(Mother tongue),English,Igbo.
Igbo is one of the 3 major languages in Nigeria other are Yoruba and Hausa.
I am not sure how I can incorporate the languages in the essay
I meant what problems have you witnessed? Describe them in detail.
Don't add the statistics in the essay. It sounds plagiarized unless you took the data.
I meant what statistical training do you have? What programs have you used?
I would add a paragraph about where you come from, where you studied,
memorable experiences/internships/projects. I think the languages will find a fit.
I meant what problems have you witnessed? Describe them in detail.
Its no doubt that most of the voilence in Nigeria today is fueled by poverty.Robbery,Kidnapping,Bombings etc.I take a trip around the country once in a while and i have witnessed bad situations and its getting even worse.It is very annoying actually to see the reality of life in everyday Nigeria in contrast with the constant yearly growth in GDP and GNI.What we see and get as Nigerian is not what we deserve.
Food,Water and Housing are the 3 important parameters to measure the value of our lives.These things are elusive in Nigeria.In most cases Drinkable water does not flow in Nigerian homes we have have to buy it.Boreholes have run dry the public tap have virtually disappeared.Even cities like lagos that is lineated by Atlantic ocean plus a number of internal lagoon cannot get water to its Inhabitants.
A friend of mine with B.sc Accounting (With ICAN certification)has been working as a sales representative for a bank for 3 years now.He earnes $115(18,000 Naira) monthly,he can not afford a decent accommodation and squats with his cousin in a small single room.This is just one case out of millions of working class Nigerian citizen who can not afford themselves an accommodation.
Not to mention the issue of power.Power supply is inefficient and very dysfunctional.Blackout every now and then is a way of life for the average Nigerian becuase there maybe no fuel to run the noisy and environmentally unfriendly generators.This deficiency of power supply in-turn aids the mass poverty as thousands of people have been put out of job since many companies can no longer sustain their operations in the absence of it.
The consequential effect of poverty as I see everyday of my life is a lot more than I can write in this little piece.My experiences and observation have shown me that mass poverty is accelerating and is taking its toll on all aspects of the Nigerian life.It will be interesting to study and understand how we got here and how we can move away from it.
I meant what statistical training do you have? What programs have you used?
In my undergraduate study of Organizational Psychology,I took a course Psychometrics.I got to study the concept of statistics and measurements.I did a few experimental and observational studies on behaviour.
I am very determined to learn and study every tool i need to become an excellent Economist.
I would incorporate the languages into the 1st one or two paragraphs. Leave out the statistics.
Here's a revision of the last piece. I hope all the editing marks come through. Sometimes, essay forum changes the editing marks? The capital letters (AREAS LIKE THIS) are places where I want you to add something. Let me know what you think..
I really appreciate your review.I think you've done very good.
I have been fortunate enough not to have any of those terrible experiences personally but not everyone is that lucky.I see terrible things happen to people around me and on the news.There has been times when I have had to shower with swan bottle water to for days because we could access tap water or find it to buy in gallons,I get lots of bottle pour into a bucket showered for days until water starts to flow again.I don't own a generator because I find the noise very disturbing.70% of the time I stay without power.These things shouldn't be.
I know that sometimes the place where my extended family lives is without water. This year, however, they've had a lot of rain. I am fortunate to have plenty of water for showers. And, yes, generators are really noisy. I wish you the best.
I am lost at your last comment.I dont understand it.
I have been fortunate enough not to have any of those terrible experiences personally but not everyone is that lucky.I see terrible things happen to people around me and on the news.There has been times when I have had to shower with swan bottle water to for days because we could access tap water or find it to buy in gallons,I get lots of bottle pour into a bucket showered for days until water starts to flow again.I don't own a generator because I find the noise very disturbing.70% of the time I stay without power.These things shouldn't be.
I am fortunate enough to have plenty of running water! I don't appreciate it very often.
I was agreeing that generators are really noisy.
I wish you the best.
thank you so much, I really appreciate this.
