Unanswered [3] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4

Inflation, a small change causes huge impacts - Causes and Effects essay.


macho 3 / 5  
Apr 16, 2008   #1
Hi EF_Team !

Could you please help me to revise this essay. My professor just asks me to write about causes and effects, any topic.
Here it is. However, I don't fell the conclusion is Ok. I end up this essay with a quotation because my professor prefers it (as she talked in class). Please give me some advices and help me to revise it.

Thanks a lot ! :D

P.S: English is not my 1st language so I might have some serious errors in my essay :D. Don't laugh ^^

Inflation, a small change causes huge impacts

Inflation is one of the most worried problems of all economies in the world. People may think developed countries where industry is the main factor created their economies will be suffered a lot by inflation, but they are wrong; developing countries are not in better situation during inflation periods. In Asia, Vietnam becomes the country suffered most from inflation. Vietnamese people have to struggle for their lives every day, unemployment rate goes higher, and many companies and factories have to shut down because of inflation.

In Vietnam, if someone tries to listen to radio, or pays more intention to TV daily news, they may realize that economists always talk about growth rate and inflation of the country. Some of their words may become so familiar to Vietnamese people, such as "the Price Index this month has increased 0.4 percent over the previous month" or "the inflation of the first six months of this year now is four percent"(Vietnam Inflation). For some people, a small change like 0.4 percent or even four percent of something is not a bothersome number, but they do not see how it is dangerous and the impacts of that small number to their lives, especially foods and clothes which are the most needed things but also are affected most. For example, a canned fish that was about one dollar six months ago now goes up to one dollar and fifty cents. A small amount added to that canned fish causes a lot of problems for poor people because they cannot afford that added cents. Because Vietnam is a developing country, most people are in average or even low class; their incomes are maybe around sixty three dollars a month (Runckel) - less than wage of an American worker in one day. As the result, people have to forgo luxury items to get more of what they need, such as spending less money on new cars or motorbikes, and expensive clothes to get enough foods as well as cheap clothes for their family.

People are not only the one affected by inflation but also companies and factories. Higher prices mean higher expenses for them which can cause financial problems and slow down developing companies. Therefore, to face with inflation, they end up their problems by using new strategies, such as running in smaller-size factories, firing as many workers as they can. Unskilled and old workers now become the first target to be fired. Moreover, in Vietnam, most workers are unskilled which do not have any college degree, paying low wages and having very few protections from laws.

However, not all companies can survive during inflation periods; some may give up and shut down their factories. Workers in those factories become unemployed ones. With no college degree, they cannot find another job and become unemployed ones. As the result, inflation causes the unemployment rate go higher; more people have no income, and a small amount added to their foods now becomes their nightmares.

The change in inflation is maybe small and is only measured in percentage but the impacts of it can be unimaginable. For society, it makes people have to struggle for their lives, forgo their dreamed houses, cars, or motorbikes, and use their budgets carefully. For economy, it slows down the development, and forces many companies to fire their workers, run in smaller sizes, or even shut down, making unemployment rate go higher. Inflation is almost like a tornado that absorbs everything continually from the country. "People are trying to save money but it's almost impossible to avoid paying more," said one Vietnamese consumer (Reuters).

Works Cited

"Vietnam Inflation Rate Key..." Thanh Nien Daily. Trans. Hoang Bao. 2008.

Runckel, Charles. "Workers Wages in Vietnam..." Business-in-Asia.

Reuters. "Vietnamese Suffer 'Sticker Shock' As Inflation Rises." Chao-Vietnam, by Mike Weston.

EF_Team2 1 / 1,709  
Apr 17, 2008   #2
Greetings!

You make some good points in your essay! I think your English is quite good, for the most part. I had no trouble understanding your meaning. There are some corrections that need to be made, however:

"most worried problems of all economies" - worrisome economic problems

"the main factor created their ..." - the main economic factor will suffer a lot because of inflation,

"developing countries are not in ..." - developing countries are not in a better situation during inflationary periods.

"In Asia, Vietnam becomes the country ..." - In Asia, Vietnam has suffered the most from inflation.

"struggle for their lives every day, ..." - struggle in their daily lives, the unemployment rate grows higher,

"inflation of the country." - inflation in the country

"become so familiar to" - be familiar to

"impacts of that small number to their lives," - impact of that small number on their lives.

"especially foods and clothes which are the most ..." - Necessities such as food and clothes are affected the most."

"For example, a canned fish that was about one dollar six months ago ..." - For example, canned fish that was one dollar six months ago is now one dollar and fifty cents.

"that added cents." - that added cost.

"most people are in average or even low class;" - most people are members of the middle or lower classes;

"less than wage of an American" - less than the wage of an American

"less money on new cars or motorbikes, and expensive clothes to get ..." - less money on new cars, motorbikes, or expensive clothes to have enough food and affordable clothing for their family.

"People are not only the one affected by inflation ..." - People are not the only ones affected by inflation; companies and factories are as well.

"to face with inflation, they end up their problems" - to deal with inflation, they end their problems

"such as running in smaller-size factories, firing" such as running smaller-size factories and firing

"Unskilled and old workers now become ..." - Unskilled and older workers now become the first targets of firings.

"Moreover, in Vietnam, most workers are unskilled which do not have any college ..." - Moreover, in Vietnam most workers are unskilled. This means they do not have college degrees, are paid low wages, and have very few legal protections.

"inflation periods;" - inflationary periods;

"unemployed ones. With no college degree, they cannot find ..." - are then unemployed. With no college degree, it is difficult for them to find another job.

"As the result, inflation causes the ..." - As a result, inflation causes the unemployment rate to go higher;

"... to their foods now becomes their nightmares." - and a small amount added to their food bill becomes a nightmare.

"The change in inflation is maybe small and is only measured in ..." - The change in inflation rates may be measured in small percentages, but its impact can be unimaginable.

"For economy, it slows down the development," - Economically, it slows down development,

"run in smaller sizes," - down-size

"making unemployment rate go higher." - raising the unemployment rate.

Does your university have a Writing Center? Many do. Writing Centers exist to help students with the basics of composition and are especially helpful for people learning to speak English. You are doing very well with your English composition, but there is always more to learn, even for native speakers.

Good luck, and thanks!

Sarah
EssayForum.com
OP macho 3 / 5  
Apr 17, 2008   #3
wow ... nothing to say T__T

Anyway! Thank you Sarah ... Look like I still have a long way to go ...

I will try to improve myself :D

Once again, thank a lot :)
EF_Team2 1 / 1,709  
Apr 17, 2008   #4
You're certainly welcome. :-) Your English is very good, so please don't be discouraged! English is a difficult language, and I'm amazed that anyone EVER learns it! Just keep practicing your speaking and your writing, and you'll be amazed at the progress you'll make. I can say this with certainty: I know someone (an English-speaker) who started corresponding with French-speaking people on the Internet. She barely knew any French when she began. Now, a few months later, she knows quite a bit. It will take a lot more practice for her to become fluent, but she'll get there. I think you are quite fluent. You just need a little help with the details, which can be quite confusing. But that's why we're here!


Home / Writing Feedback / Inflation, a small change causes huge impacts - Causes and Effects essay.