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The influence of globalization on languages - IELTS TASK2

Guang 2 / 6 2  
Nov 22, 2015   #1
Hi there,
Would you please give me some help as to my IELTS writing? Thanks a lot.

Around the world, only a few languages are increasing in use, the use of many other languages is declining. Is is a positive or negative development?

Globolisation brings dramatic changes in our world. There has been a trend that several languages have been used widely in the past few decades, while most of other languages tend to be used decreasingly. This phenomenon has both advantaged and disadvantaged impacts on our social activities.

The languages with a wide spread use benefits global trading and commercial transactions. There languages make it easier for companies to find and utilize business opportunities because languages pay a vital role as a vehicle of information. Two companies with different domestic languages would prefer to adopt a single language when negotiating and bargaining rather than wait a translation during the process. In consistence with the view, a single accepted language promotes the communication and cooperation between countries. It is hard to image a spaceman from Russia talks to a Chinese astronaut with Russian or versa vice. English should be the more effective language for them to communicate. The trend of increasing trading and cooperation between organisations throughout the world appears to rise a few languages in wide use to dominant position.

There are also some negative impacts on societies which may be harmful to some particular communities or countries. With the less use of native language, people may not be interested in their own culture because language is considered to be the most important parts of one type of cultural heritage. Young generations may even do not understand the history or traditions of their own. Furthermore, language is generally linked to specific countries with identical cultures. The outputs of their language present a means of cultural invasion. Juvenile from Asian countries listens to European pop songs and watches American movies will accept western lifestyles and value. Use of foreign language instead of native one posts a threat to both the country and its people.

In my opinion, the influence of globalization on language inevitable, one country cannot refuse a widely used language. However, government should make an effort to preserve its own language through education and proper regulation to make a balance between these two language.

vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Nov 23, 2015   #2
Ran, at the beginning of your essay, I am not really sure why you are discussing the trend of globalization. If you are using globalization as the basis of your discussion about the rise and fall of some languages, then you need to create a strong and clear connection between the two. Right now, there is no connecting idea between the two so the presentation of globalization does not really make much sense. If you can develop the connection in your introduction, then your discussion will further improve and inform the reader.

Your thesis is flawed because you did not properly represent the original prompt. While you were being asked to either agree or disagree with the previous statement, you opted to instead present a discussion or advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. If you review your statement from the eye of an examiner as I did, you will be left with no recourse but to deduct points from the essay because of the deviation from the prompt requirements.

If you had only developed the correct thesis statement, the rest of your essay discussion would have been perfect. It had the potential to deliver the perfect discussion of the negative aspect of the increased global use of certain language and the decline of certain languages. Another helpful point in this discussion would have come from your personal experience of having to study a different language and test for your ability to speak and use that language just so you can go to school in another country for higher studies. Adding some personal touches to these types of essays always score additional points because it shows a definite understanding of the prompt and creates a unique point of view for yourself, thus adding your important voice to the essay.

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