The influence of violence scenes in television for children and their behavior

QUESTION: These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television, and this is having a negative impact on children's behavior. Do you agree or disagree?

In advanced technology era, television is just like something that people can not live without. It is reckoned that the growing sum of violence on television causes a deprimental effect for children. There are several reasons why I argue that it is true because children are still in infancy and they can not digest correctly whether the show of television is good or bad for them.

To begin with, enormous people now virtually have their own television in their home, and based on research that I have learned, they roughly watch television everyday especially for children. That is why the rising amount of violence abosultely will lead to a deprimental effect for children. For instance, many cases regarding to children which are reported in mass media such as news paper or television showing that immense children are copying people's behavior whom they see on television.

Subsequently, based on what I know in Indonesia, one of many television programs which affects children is "smack down". Smack down was a popular program several years ago which showing people in a arena fighting each other and it was proved that many children were imitating smack down program. As a result, some children should be brought to hospital due to injuries in their entire body. It happens because they do not know whether or not imitating smack down program is good for them. Up to this point, that is why I agree that the growing sum of violence program on television has a dire effect for children.

The aforementioned evidence reveals that television which peculiarly contains violence scene has profound effect for children's behavior. In this case, the role of parents become so significant for ensuring children to keep safe.

Hi Miftah,

You have several advance words on your essay, However, I see that your conclusion is not answer the question properly.

The aforementioned evidence reveals that television which peculiarly contains violence scene has profound effect(it has profound effect on what? positive or negative?) for children's behavior. In this case, the role of parents become so significant for ensuring children to keep safe.

In my opinion, it would be better if you mention what you have explained and also you have already mentioned earlier.