Unanswered [0] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

Information about European people visited gym


DanielDang 5 / 8 1  
Nov 12, 2022   #1

percentage of people visit to gym 1990 to 2010



The line chart shows the proportion of people going to gym in different groups of ages in Europe from 1990 to 2010.
Overall, the number of European people spending time on gym increased gradually over the period of 20 years. However, there was a much higher percentage of young people went to gym than ones in group of 45 and over.

In 1990, under 10% of adults in Europe took part in gym activities, with approximately 10% of people from 25 to 34, 9% of people from 18 to 24, 6% of 35-44 group and only 4% of people over 45. Over the next eight years, while the number of people visiting gym in the group of 35-44 and over 45 saw a slight rose, at 12% and 9% respectively, the figure for two younger ones increased sharply to 28% each.

By 2010, the figure for people aging from 18 to 24 had steadily gone up to nearly 60%, while proportion of adults in 25-34 group had risen to 50%. In contrast, the figure for those in 35-44 and above 45 experienced a significantly rise, at 30% and 20% respectively.



Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,410 4391  
Nov 13, 2022   #2
A text composed of 190 words will find itself in a good position to receive positive scoring considerations based on the rubic requirements. The writer also need to be careful though because the number of words can also go the opposite way and force him to make avoidable grammar errors.

The text did prove to be the shortcoming of this informative presentation. The sentence structures are incorrect and the punctuation usage is severely limited. Both problems will lead to a lowering of the GRA score due to limited punctuation usage and run-on sentence usage. Each paragraph should be at least 3 sentences long for starters, but no more than 5 sentences towards the end of the paragraph. This is to allow for the full and proper explanation development of the reporting paragraphs.

There is a slight information error in the trending statement. This is supposed to be a general reference measurement sentence / paragraph so specific references such as age groups should not be mentioned at this point. Use a vague reference next time. It would also help if the writer enumerated the information included in the image so that the quick reference guide will be complete when reading it in short form.


Home / Writing Feedback / Information about European people visited gym