Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

The information of millions of television viewers in sports by four different country.


Tylen 1 / -  
Jun 13, 2017   #1
This Is The First Time I Write Ielts Task 1.

numbers of tv lookers watching sport



The table compares the information of millions of television viewers in sports by four different country. It's clear that tennis has the the most viewers on television. However, The total number of viewers of all sports in the USA is higher than any other country.

In general tennis is the most popular sport on television in all four countries. There are nearly 26 million viewers and each country about 6 to 7 million people watch it. Golf is the second popular sport that has 22 million viewers but it's more popular in the USA with 11 million people to watch on TV.

Not many people like watching motor racing on their television with other sports. It has only 1 to 1.5 million people watch motor racing in the USA and Canada but the number of viewers for motor racing is higher in the UK and Australia. Athletics has steady stream viewers with 3 to 5 million viewers in four countries.

ravatrav 2 / 3 2  
Jun 13, 2017   #2
Hi Tylen,
First of all, I think you should include all of the listed countries name (in the data), so that your reader will know which countries you are talking about aside from USA (its optional, though I think its better that way, just try it ). Secondly, your first sentence in the 2nd paragraph better be placed in the first paragraph as an overview because it serves a generalized view, as in the body paragraph you supposed to discuss the specific features of the data already. Usually people build the first paragraph as an intro and overview, while in the following paragraph they focused on the detail of the data (specific). May be you should try to read some sample answers provided all over the internet in order to get to know more on how to answer and practice more on your paragraph and sentence structure. Oh, and may be next time you should attach the data as well so we know what data we are dealing with. Thanks and good luck.
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,195 459  
Jun 13, 2017   #3
It is difficult to understand your writing since you do not have any picture included. Please post the picture of the graph. Not only this, it is always good to attach the question from the rubric, so we are easily to check the way you paraphrase the question.

Some points to consider when it comes to Writing Task 1:
1. You need to write an overview to covers in the body paragraphs.
2. Since this is Task 1, you are suggested to compare and contrast the figures. What I see from your writing above is lack of comparison and contrast sentences, in particular paragraph 2.

3. Please control you grammatical ranges: four different country = COUNTRIES; Not many people like = Not do many people like (inverted sentence)

hope this helps :)


Home / Writing Feedback / The information of millions of television viewers in sports by four different country.