Hi Ifra.
These are my thoughts towards your writing. Please, you provide your time to review my notes. Hopefully, those can help you.
GOOD LUCK... give the information about
outcome aspects in the one... THE PERCENTAGE OF BUDGET ALLOCATED BY A SCHOOL IN UK FOR SOME ASPECTS IN THREE DIFFERENT YEARS; 1981, 1991, and 2001.
Overall, The highest spending money was paid for teachers' ...
To get the high score, you can directly demonstrate your ability to compare figures.
Overall, it is important to note that the school's management always had prioritized to allocate most of incomes for salaries of teachers, while the cost of insurance in the school had become the lowest expenditure.In 1981, The school spending money to pay teachers' ...
Honestly, your body paragraph was less interesting. You have to be braver to show off. I mean you compare the figures. For example:Initially, the salaries for teachers successfully had become the highest spending in the school with the percentage at two-fifths. Meanwhile, the fund for the insurance broke a record as the lowest expenditure in the same year, regarding at 2%. Besides that, while two aspects, the learning resources and equipment, were the same level at 15%, the salaries for other workers started the second highest spending representing at almost twice as much in 1981,