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Task 1: Information regarding the proportion of people doing volunteer jobs in six different spheres


trphuongtrang99 1 / 1  
Oct 12, 2020   #1

the percentage of volunteers by organizations in 2008 and 2014



The visual reveals information regarding the proportion of people doing volunteer jobs in six different spheres and shows how the value alters in two years surveyed, namely 2008 and 2014. Generally, it can be seen that while the environmental sector accounted for the lion's share in the whole chart, the reverse was evident with the health care category in both years.

According to the pie charts, the environment, sport, and health care were characterized by an overall upward trend. Specifically, whereas the sporting categories thrived by 10% in the portion of volunteers during the 6-year gap to finish at 25%, that of the health care sector witnessed an insignificant increase of 1%. Besides, the data of environmental volunteers noticeably grew by 8%, and thus this category still dominated the whole data with 29% in 2014.

Conversely, education and art underwent an opposite tendency in comparison with their counterparts. The most noticeable deflation among this group was the educational figure, decreasing from 24% to merely 17% in 2014, which was followed by that of Art, identically, was recorded a minimal deterioration of 6% to hit 12% in the same period. Meanwhile, the data representing others category, which commenced at 15%, almost halved in the occupation of volunteering members between 2008 and 2014.

Thanks guys for helping me ^^




Holt [Contributor] - / 9,521 2962  
Oct 12, 2020   #2
The standard word count for the task 1 essay is 175-190 words. You have written 211 words, which might mean that you cut into the time requirement for the Task 2 essay. You need to learn to properly analyze the information within a limited word count. The idea is to prove that you can quickly write a comprehensive image report within 20 minutes. You do not need to make it extremely long, just properly informative.

What visual are you talking about? Your summary overview needs to identify the type of image that was presented. You should give the type of image in the summary overview as required. You do not save that for the second paragraph because it makes your summary overview incomplete. You should have also identified the type of measurements used and the comparison categories. Your summary overview is actually overwritten, without offering the required information so you will not score well in that section.

Avoid writing overly long sentences. These run-on sentences in the paragraph presentations will definitely lower your TA and GRA score because you are confusing the reader with too much information in one sentence. You must learn to write clear individual sentences. Make the paragraph informative and easy to follow by using 3-5 sentences per paragraph. Since this is a reporting essay, you do not need to write too much. Just the facts.
OP trphuongtrang99 1 / 1  
Oct 16, 2020   #3
@Holt
Many thanks for your comment. However, can I rewrite my essay in this way?

The pie charts show the proportion of people volunteering in six different spheres between 2008 and 2014. The data sources communicated that while the portion of participants in environmental, sporting, and health care organizations was characterized by the general upward trend, the reverse was evident with the art, educational, and other organizations. In addition, the data presented the environmental sector also dominated the whole figures in both surveyed years.

In 2008, educational organizations ranks first in the percentage of volunteering people, valued at 24%, which was followed up by the environmental and art spheres with 21% and 18%, respectively. Meanwhile, the figure for that of sport and others stayed at the same number, occupating 15%, and health care organizations recorded the lowest number at merely 7% in total.

In 2014, the data on environmental and sporting categories witnessed a continuous increase to reach 29% and 25%, correspondingly. Of equal note, the figure for health care organizations inched up by 1% to finish at 8%. In contrast, the percentage of volunteering in educational and art organizations underwent a moderate deflation to 17% and 12% respectively. However, the most significant change was the portion of participants in other organizations, which almost halved to hit 9% in the final year.


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