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The information about several goods and steps to produce cement, and how to make concrete by cement.


Wilyaftika23 46 / 37 1  
Nov 6, 2016   #1
The diagrams show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.

The diagrams give information about several goods and way to produce cement and how to make concrete by cement. Overall, it can be seen that to produce both of cement and concrete are needed more than one of equipment each and there are mixed by each tools with simple way.

To produce cement are needed equipment, such as limestone and clay stone. The processes are, firstly, limestone and clay are crushed to become powder. Secondly, the equipment are mixed and with helped by heat, the powder are rotated by rotating heater. The result will be grinded by grinder and produce cement. The end collect of cement are put in bags.

After cement is produced, it is used to produce concrete. The equipment are needed, such as cement at 15 percent, water at 10 percent, sand at 25 percent, and small stone at 50 percent. The process is all of equipment are mixed by mix tool for concrete and the tool will be rotated as clock wise direction. And the result is concrete. It used for building purpose.

Holt - / 7,527 2001  
Nov 6, 2016   #2
Wily, a depiction of the diagram that you used to write the essay should really have been included in this essay. It would have helped us figure out how well you were able to represent the diagram in your written work. At this point, I can only assume that you were able to properly assess the diagram and develop a procedural essay from it. The only thing that puzzles me, is why your opening statement is so short. As an overview, it should have contained at least 3 sentences in order to properly summarize the essay. Right now, at two sentences, it doesn't follow the expected guidelines for essay development of this sort. Please make sure to always develop the right number of sentences for your essays. It matters in the overall scoring of your work and can affect the final score you are given.
badafebriani17 34 / 44 1  
Nov 6, 2016   #3
Hello wily. this is my suggestion
actually your essay is good..
1. ..., and clay stone
2. ... several goods and way(s) to produce cement ...
3. Overall, it can be seen that to produce both of cement and concrete are ...
maybe you can mention the equipment that needed..
e.g.the are several the equipment that needed such as grinder, mixer and rotating heater
overall, good luck
nurainiyusuf16 47 / 83 6  
Nov 6, 2016   #4
Hello Willy!
Kindly check my suggestion below.

... of equipment each and there [b]are mixed by each tools[/b] with simple way.

Mixed -> showing a mixture of different feelings or opinions (Cambridge)
Look at example below:

Overall, it can be seen that to produce both of cement and concrete are needed more than one of equipment for each and there are used many tools with simple way.

After cement is produced, it is used to produce concrete.

Cement that is produced use for concrete manufacturing

Just few correction and suggestion for your better task.
Hope it helps you :)


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