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The information superhighway was greatly transformed the way man conducts his activities today


Erica Tin 2 / 2  
Nov 30, 2017   #1
Question:
The Internet has dramatically altered our lives over the past few decades.Although some of these changes have been negative, the overall effect of this technology has been positive. what are your opinion on this?

impact of the world wide web



There is little doubt that the Internet be invented by human needs.People have the strong desire to get information which it is very possible that can get rid of panic of unknown future or situation.The cause of Internet to sway people`s mind is often being disscussed for many years.The transformation of modern society is entirely different from the era which had difficulty to connect each other.Generally speaking, the favorable effects and unwanted solutions have been scrutinizing by many professional expertise of modern anthropology.

When it comes to the disapprove of website impact on civilization, we usually cope with the social media of celebrities.Fashion culture has been considered as the main culprit to responsible for the undesirable side effects.Famous people require commercial activities to spread their name in order to persuade ordinary men to purchase the products which involve their salary resources.The purpose of those culprits is to gain self-esteem and the obsession of luxury goods.By and large, the website is the wonderful choices for them to spread the information which lead to the unwelcome influence on public.

However,the large numbers of websites have resulted in immediate data acquiring and making decision quickly. In the past, it is hard to obtain right information instantly.The majority of those effects often bring society into an unavoidable error.For example, once the warning of earthquake could not be published on National Weather Service Website,the lost of Country is massive and worst of all,causing the threat of human life.If the website is used in proper way, it extend the benefit of Internet giving people directions on their later time.

The quality of website should be examined by their professional people who can distinguish the right or wrong.However,only a few people have the ability to execute it, especially in the democratic society which is famous for its freedom of speech.The advantage of internet is the expression of man`situation.What we know about society just a fraction of view is can be shared by website.If we communicate with advance society by website, we improve our life through learning new knowledge from them.

In conclusion, the innovation of contemporary technology converted modern surrounding.The improvement should not be put aside by overwhelming drawback of false news.Although some argue that the unavoidable jolt of comments on website, it makes a competitive society to progress faster than before.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,835 4783  
Nov 30, 2017   #2
Erica, I just need to know if you are responding to a Direct Question Task 2 essay or if you are responding to a Task 2 opinion essay. While they are both Task 2 essays, the opening paraphrase response requirements differ for each. For a Direct Question essay, you represent the opinion with a summarized line of reasoning at the end of your paraphrased statement. For the opinion essay, you hold off on the official discussion with reasoning until the body of paragraphs. Which one is it for you? Just remember the differing requirements for each type of Task 2 essay so that you will know how to approach each one properly. Regardless of which type of essay you are responding to, you have to still stick to a proper representation of the prompt paraphrase in the paragraph in order to prove that you understood the topic provided. What you did was discuss the topic immediately, which is never done in an IELTS essay. You need to paraphrase first. For example:

The information superhighway was greatly transformed the way man conducts his activities over the past ten years. There have been signs that these changes have resulted in unfavorable outcomes for some people. However, most of the results have resulted in good outcomes for most. In this essay, I will be discussing my positive opinion of the internet effects on everyday life.

This is your opportunity to show off your English skills in terms of expressing yourself. The minute you come across as coherent, with a wide lexical resource, presented in an appropriate manner, then you will immediately increase your TA, LR, C&C, GRA scores. This part of the test becomes the foundation of the rest of your scores. Do well in the paraphrase and you have won a significant scoring battle. The current opening statement that you have needs to better represent these sections by accurately restating the prompt and its instructions in your own words.

Most of your paragraphs just deliver strongly on examples, without explanations and reasons. These create incoherent and non-cohesive paragraph discussions which will greatly affect the scores of the 4 criteria. Towards the end of your essay, you even stray from the discussion topic, resulting in an essay that is confused,inaccurate, and uninformative. Overall, the essay is not strong enough to get a passing score because of the TA, GRA and C&C problems in the presentation.

There are previous essays written about the same topic in this forum, I suggest you read those in order to understand how to better write these sorts of topic essays. In fact, before you write another practice test, you might want to look for examples of how to write the essay based on the same topic within this forum. That way you can write an essay that might be a little bit more responsive to the prompt than these previous attempts of yours.


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