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Information Technology brings a work flexibility

Anhy chan 12 / 23 1  
Mar 29, 2017   #1
Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace (e.g at home, when travelling, etc). Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadventages?

Today's technology improvements

It goes without saying that technology improvement has bring a ripple effect on human life, especially when it comes to talk about employment flexibility. As such, it has allowed many workers to finish their task wherever they want to. Personally, I also think that the merits of this improvement outweight the drawbacks.

The information-technology impovement has influenced the flexibility of workers, especially on the way they complete their job. Obviously, this also relates to their productivity. Furthermore, some jobs in particular art company did not need to compel the workers to stay in office all the time. That is why they will get a huge benefits from this simplicity. This is because the artist can complete their painting in the other places, such as home, field, or in tourism places. Moreover, this mobility has influenced on how people arrange their time to work and to relax based on their own self. Additionally, the another benefit of this is relating to how the company has to reduce their outcome, due to the fact that, the office should not be operate 24 hours per day.

On the other hand, we can not deny that this technology improvement has some drawbacks too, owing to the fact that there also a job which force the labour to accomplish work in the office, in particular for a big company. For more detail, lets take an example on electronic services' companies. They tend to entire their time in the workplace because it it impossible to doing their job on the other places. That is why, I could say that the disadventages of this mobility are regarding to the effectiveness of workers time to make the problem clear.

Clearly, there are some benefits from technology advances since it can makes some particular work became more flexible and highly producing. However, it also has brought a drawbacks as the work became disorganise.

tamtamii 9 / 7  
Mar 29, 2017   #2
halo miss @Anhy chan

I have read your essay and I found mistaken spelling.
Outweight = should be "outweight"
Impovement= should be "improvement"

You also have to learn how to combine two noun into adjective. Such as "art company" should be "art-company"
You also should pay attention to subject verb agreement.
....This is because the artist can complete their painting in the other places, such as home, field, or in tourism places.... = you should write the artists and their paintings (in plural)
Holt [Contributor] - / 9,498 2951  
Mar 30, 2017   #3
Sriwidayani, your essay is very weak. It does not really offer any solid evidence that the benefits of IT outweigh its disadvantages. You did present a discussion, but the evidence to support it was mostly general in nature instead of specific. In order to promote the idea that IT has more advantages, there needed to have been a specific mention of the IT methods or gadgets that make telecommuting a more advantageous method of working when compared to commuting to the office in order to perform work related tasks. You were supposed to also concentrate on technological innovations and not occupations such as painting. That does not require technology for its performance. That is not a telecommuting job that relies on technology.

In your second paragraph, you assumed that the person will still need to go to the office to do work even with the gadgets available. Your discussion in this aspect is a prompt deviation and as such, forces your score to become even lower. The discussion in that paragraph is wrong because the given topic centers on only one premise which is "Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace". As such, you have proven that you did not understand the prompt and you do not have enough knowledge with which to properly discuss the topic. These are the reasons why I do not think you can score higher than a 3.
Mayank7g 9 / 17  
Mar 30, 2017   #4

Focus more on punctuation, lexical resource and support your argument with a strong response.
Arlen 20 / 40 3  
Apr 1, 2017   #5
I think the your counter argument doesn't relate to the question at all. You should express that the drawback of such mobility make the workers have to handle the business after work hours forcefully, instead of saying the electronic services' companies (I think the term is wrong) workers cannot leave their workplace.

And in the supporting paragraph, I think you repeat the same concept too may times. This may let the reader think your argument isn't strong enough.

Hope it helps!
imlost88 2 / 3  
Apr 1, 2017   #6
Furthermore, some jobs ... That is why they ... This is because the artist ...

You can combine those three sentences into one with a comma to separate each idea or make it into two sentences to avoid such repetition: That is / This is

And sentence 3 can be example for sentence 1

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