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IELTS Writing Task 2: Information Technology in Human's Life


indah_hai 19 / 38 4  
Jan 27, 2014   #1
Information technology is changing many aspects of our lives and now dominates our home, leisure and work activities. To what extent do the benefits of information technology outweigh the disadvantages?

Throughout 21st century, the advance technology has raised people custom globally. As a result, the range of activities which are using technology as a means of communication has existed everywhere. Without further ado, let's discuss this issue.

According to the communication statistic, means of communication: smart phone, computer and internet connection are the favorable things in society recently. It is because information technology appears a helper device in human activities to keep it updated. As such, the merits of the scheme outweigh the demerits.

Some people have been using computer to help their daily works, and they could be worked it faster than old fashion. For example, the owner who has a restaurant needs to calculate income and his expenditure per day. Calculating with handwriting everyday will spend a lot of time, but counting by computer only takes a short time. However, it means the owner has to spending some money to buy computer, then learn its update knowledge to work with.

In long term, numbers of people are likely to be curious about how to use computer or smart phone because its popularity which could help also entertains in many aspects: school, office, friendship, or society. But without doubt, people have been time-consuming in front of computer or gadget recently, and it successes providing a trigger of unhealthy custom, because people will forget to work out.

There are the merits of using technology in school and workplace. The internet is an invaluable resource and experience for students all of ages, and internet provides ability to reach a very long distance. Those abilities able to reduce must time which should be prepared to do calculating, sending a letter, or delivery order. With only one click in computer or smart phone combined with internet connection anything could be done in time.

Clearly, while these drawbacks: "spending money" and "time-consuming" could increase human problem of health such as overweight, but we cannot achieve satisfaction result without computer, internet connection or gadget doing a part to finish some complicated jobs in daily activity. I deliberated that prior way and time using of technology could decrease demerits.

Pahan 1 / 1,907 553  
Jan 27, 2014   #2
, the advance technology has raised people custom globally

... this part is confusing. You need to improve clarity for the reader to understand your idea. What do you mean here?

Without further ado, let's discuss this issue.

This topic is actually does not sound an issue topic. It asks you to analyse advantages against disadvantages. I think you should preserve the mood of the topic in your essay. These IELTS essays can have a very similar structure for different topics, but one straight fit might not work for every topic. You need to introduce those little changes as and when it is necessary.
OP indah_hai 19 / 38 4  
Jan 28, 2014   #3
Dear Pahan,

It means the updated technology has been changing the people lifestyle in daily life.
Thank for replying
Pahan 1 / 1,907 553  
Jan 28, 2014   #4
Okkk ... then you should have said it with more clarity. This explanation itself sounds much better than that sentence. It's important to note that clarity of your sentences play a bigger role in impressing your reader than vocabulary or complex sentence structures.

According to the communication statistic, means of communication: smart phone, computer and internet connection are the favorable things in society recently. It is because information technology appears a helper device in human activities to keep it updated. As such, the merits of the scheme outweigh the demerits.

In this essay you need to tackle the point that

To what extent do the benefits of information technology outweigh the disadvantages?

You need to give points that answers this question in your body paragraphs. You should pay attention to your essay structure more!
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Jan 28, 2014   #5
First, I have an admin request to make :)
You should open threads relating to IELTS in the Writing Feedback section. (I moved this from Graduate to Writing Feedback)
I feel you need to improve on your essay structure.
artem1395 1 / 1  
Feb 5, 2014   #6
please guys , give me a good conclusion for "Technology Devices" , thanks =)
halleybachelor 16 / 25 1  
Feb 6, 2014   #7
Throughout 21st century, the advance technology has raised people custom globally

I don't think it is appropriate to say "throughout 21st century" because this century is still not over.


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