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Informational and persuasive essay on travel


J Carpenter 1 / 1  
Feb 27, 2010   #1
I have been out of school for 10 years and am just now going back to school. I am just looking to see if I am on the right path with my essay given the requirements. Feel free to edit if you like but I am just looking to see if it is informationl and persuasive. Thank you in advance for any help that is provided!!

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Earlier this winter I had the opportunity to travel to Seattle, Washington. While the reasons for my venture were somber in nature the time I spent in Seattle produced memories I will never forget. Vacations are a necessity in order to get away from the madness that is everyday life. I will inform you why Seattle is the best choice for a vacation destination and persuade you into joining me for a temporary escape that will change your life.

Everyone has a different method for relieving the stress that mounts on a person throughout the day and because of this individual family members are left to cope on their own. A vacation provides an opportunity for the entire family to relieve stress while also bonding at the same time. The meals eaten together, the constant communication throughout the day and the discovery of something new together as a family provide endless opportunities to bond. It is my belief that there are two stress factors that parents face when planning a vacation; the daily itinerary and cost. The stress of planning a vacation and the daily activities can be eliminated by using a travel website to plan things out in advance and the cost of the vacation is a nonfactor when traveling to Seattle.

Seattle is located in the in the Pacific Northwest which makes the cost to travel there inexpensive given our current location in Southern California. With our dream destination so close there are two (2) methods of travel available; automobile or airplane. Driving in an automobile would take about 24 hours and would cost about two hundred dollars ($200.00) in gasoline. Airfare is a much faster method and would provide maximum time in Seattle. Travel time would only be about three (3) hours and roundtrip tickets can be purchased from about one hundred ninety nine dollars ($199.00) per person.

Once in Seattle cost is still a non-factor. Hotel rooms can be booked for as low as ninety nine dollars ($99.00) per night with many of the hotels serving breakfast. With the endless opportunities presented from the countless restaurants you can choose anything from a quick bite to an upscale dining experience for dinner. Lunch can be taken care of while out discovering the city doing family friendly activities which can be taken care of at with the use of a Seattle City Pass or Go Seattle Card, both of which cost fewer than one hundred dollars ($100.00).

The Seattle City Pass and the Go Seattle Card both offer unlimited entry to a number of museums, aquariums, zoos, cruises, the Space Needle and many more attractions. On top off all the attractions available through the use of these discount cards there is still more to see and discovery. One of the best reasons to visit Seattle is the beautiful wilderness. Once you leave the concrete jungle that is downtown you will be amazed and inspired by the surrounding beauty. Weather being mesmerized by the simplicity of the evergreens and other trees and foliage or getting your breath taken away from the stunning Snoqualmie Falls you will always find something fun and entertaining to do outdoors.

The majority of major cities have everything described so far. One could travel to Los Angeles or New York City and experience attractions and the outdoors. What separates Seattle from the other major cities of America? My personal connection to Seattle is what makes it so unique. When shared with those I love, my family, it will bring everyone closer together than any other destination could. Think back to your childhood. Remember something you loved and held dear. The connection you felt when you shared that with someone versus the connection you felt when you shared something with no meaning. Seattle is a special place to me. The love for the city that I have when shared with the ones I love would bring on a bonding experience that cannot be matched by another city.

I have informed you of various activities that could be done while in Seattle and have also made you aware of the bonding experience that a family could have while on vacation. A vacation allows people a temporary reprieve from the mundane. A vacation with your family not only removes the family from stress but also brings them closer. When that vacation is shared in a place with special meaning the experiences are better and the bond the family gains is stronger. Seattle is a place where stress is removed, cost is a nonfactor and families are brought closer. Are you ready to escape?
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Feb 28, 2010   #2
I have been out of school for 10 years and am just now going back to school.

Awesome! You inspired me...

I will inform you why about the reasons Seattle is the best choice for a vacation destination and persuade you into joining me for a temporary escape that will change your life.

Wow, really? You are going to have a hard time persuading me!

Everyone has a different method for relieving the stress that mounts on a person throughout the day and because of this individual family members are left to cope on their own.---- when you waste all these words to say something obvious, it waters down the essay.

You do not write with errors, but I think you are able to improve a LOT if you read Stephen King's On Writing. Based on the way you write, I think you are at the perfect place in your practice to benefit by reading that book by King.

Paragraph 2 is completely useless for persuading someone about the merits of Seattle as a destination.

Paragraph 3 is the stuff you include in an informative essay, an informational essay... not a persuasie essay like this one! It is all information!

No, you need to never waste a single word, and find poignant ways to express each idea. You seem to be falling into the trap of writing for the sake of writing... like, trying to do "good composition" without really having anything to say.

I see that you are doing this to practice composition, and you have good topic sentences, a thesis statement at the end of the first para, etc. It is all good. But do not make the mistake of writing an essay without really feeling inspiration about the topic. You have to feel very inspired first, and then write.

A problem or this essay is that you are writing to the reader that the reader will love Seattle, but you write, "My personal connection to Seattle is what makes it so unique." That makes your argument weak, because Seattle just seems great to you, but it is not best for everyone...

:-)
OP J Carpenter 1 / 1  
Mar 1, 2010   #3
Thank you very much! I truly appreciate your insight. As times passes and my writing skills improve I hope to contribute to the forum in a constructive manner. In the meantime your recommendations will be put to use.


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