Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3


'injustice ruins the peaceful life' - THE INJUSTICE ESSAY


hafidgg 6 / 11  
Apr 13, 2012   #1
Please correct me.

People around the globe have been suffering the injustice; a disease that kills values, injures dignity and leads some people to revenge, preferring death to life. Injustice affects individuals as well as societies and the whole world. It is a disease created by human to dehumanize human. This essay is an attempt to shed light on a few injuries of this unneeded sickness.

Feeling of injustice ruins the peaceful life of every single person. Individuals sense the injustice in daily life, in things like the freedom of speech, when someone is deprived of their right to say their point of view, they feel oppressed and unwanted. This is much more offensive when the whole community is deprived the right of saying what they believe in and it becomes worse when they are told their mother tongue is unable to express things clearly. To make it practical, I bring here the example of Amazigh people in Morocco, they have to speak other languages in courts and the state offices otherwise their rights are in danger!

Internationally speaking, citizens of developing countries suffer from injustice, the root of all human mistakes. They feel they are treated rudely and exploited badly just because they are in the other side of the world. Until recently, many countries were occupied by the west, underestimating the citizens, claiming they are unable to control their own land alone. This was happened in countries such as Egypt and North African nations. The situation is still going on in bloody way in other nations like Afghanistan and Iraq.

This mother of all the crimes results in a sense of instability and bloodletting everywhere. People are ready to sacrifice their life to take revenge when they feel of injustice. Hence, we are living in a world full of daily bloody events and wars almost all of them are caused by the injustice. Therefore we are all affected by this human unwanted sin, and we must all contribute to find ways to get out of it and live in democratic world in peace.
janet0923 - / 2  
Apr 14, 2012   #2
in things like freedom of speech...

It is not good to use "in things like" , maybe you can try for example, for instance etc.
overall your essay is good. more transition words use would be help.
OP hafidgg 6 / 11  
Apr 14, 2012   #3
very kind of you.


Home / Writing Feedback / 'injustice ruins the peaceful life' - THE INJUSTICE ESSAY
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳