Unanswered [3] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

Inner city traffic congestion is still a serious problem in many cities. IELTS writing task 2.

MikaTan 2 / 2 1  
Mar 31, 2017   #1
Inner city traffic congestion is still a serious problem in many cities. Much of this congestion is caused by there being simply too many cars on our roads. What could be done to encourage people not to use their cars?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

solution for the traffic congestion problem

Development in automobile industries are very popular nowadays in many countries, this led to traffic congestion issue that impact the pollution and many other factors eventually. The bright side of this surveys is it is not alone in facing the problem, in other countries in the region are also facing the same predicament. There are several measures which could be taken to reduce the current trends.

There are many measures to tackle the following and reduce the current impact. Firstly, more development public transport that possible long term implication are and measures that need to emphasize on this. In addition such as increase more frequency hours for public transport, shorten the waiting time, development more option lines. This actions has to be address quickly and decisively in order to reduce the impact of congestion on the road.

Secondly, government should provides more discount and rebate while traveling on public transport. For example, minimum of 10% discount when travelling more than few kilometers per day. This helps to reduce the dependency on cars which to be improving gradually not remained prone declines. Furthermore, government should take responsibilities to encourage the people in sharing cars. This action should be discerning enough to tell between pros and corns and lead them to a better environment circumstances.

Furthermore, advertisement also lead a majority influences to people which lead to a better communication ways in telling them regarding the problem. Normally, younger generation was likely the majority trend to be related to this issue. For example, the development in automobile which targets them in many attractive bonus when they purchase the vehicle that readily affordable for their personal gratification. This issue will increase the buying percentage in cars therefore causes congestion on the road where they didn't realize it. Therefore, certain actions have to be taken to this group and develop a new plans to address the commitments.

In conclusion, every option has its advantages and disadvantages on it, we need to look at the future and study it in order for us to make the right decision that suits the current situation. However, for these changes does not lead to a negative ways if certain and measures are taken.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,223 4319  
Mar 31, 2017   #2
Lee, the overall score for this essay will be a 5. There are a number of considerations that led to that score. One of the major considerations is that your English grammar is so weak at this point, that the reader cannot easily understand what you are trying to say. Even after a few repeat readings, the reader can only try to guess at the meaning of your sentence or paragraph. Your sentences do not really carry a coherent theme and the chronological presentation of your information isn't really as solid as it could be in the presentation. I also had to score you down because of the inaccurate prompt paraphrasing. You included information in the opening statement that was not included in the original prompt. This resulted in your essay containing inaccurate information and thus, misinforms the reader to a certain extent. It is because of these mistakes that I feel your essay cannot score higher than a 5.
Arlen 20 / 40 3  
Apr 1, 2017   #3
I like your statement since you provided lots examples supporting it, however, the pity point is that they lack the coherence. It is like you try to throw some terrific ideas to attract readers, but after this fascinating magic, readers had kind of confusion that what is the purpose at beginning.

In other word, too many examples make your articles lose the focus. Besides, your conclusion doesn't correspond the argument itself, so it makes the reader confused more.

Hope it helps!

Home / Writing Feedback / Inner city traffic congestion is still a serious problem in many cities. IELTS writing task 2.