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"Inside the minds of children" - writing a presuasive essay on why it is important to stop bullying.


Sum2128033 1 / -  
Nov 8, 2015   #1
Summer Arezzi
Professor Korman
November 7, 2015
English 102

Inside the minds of children

Imagine a world where everyone is being on for their race, religion or anything that is unique about them. You don't have to imagine that anymore because people have been ridiculed since the dawn of time. People seemed to hold on to the stupidest factors that make them better than the other person. The weirdest thing about bullying is that it doesn't exist just in children, but even in adults who should know better. Why are people still getting judged for factors that can't control that make up themselves? Some of these factors are race, sexuality, and how poor they are. I remember as a young kid being forced to act properly to a code of values that haven't been edited in a long time. Society makes world rules that protest someone's feelings or views. That person is then judged on something that has been edited to fit this time. Homosexuality was one big factor that has been judged forever. We just went through trials to get gay marriage legal because society said in the first place that it was the correct way to behavior. Could you imagine if the rules were reversed and being straight was not ok? Kids learn from their parents who learn from their parents that learned from society what was right and wrong. People are so stuck in what they have been taught that they are scared of the unknown. People were taught by these rules what to do or how to act according to the world. Parents and administrators have been working against bullies for a decade. It is hard to re teach the way kids were taught. Parents are struggling to understand what to do when there child is crying on the bed after being tormented at school or online. They feel horrible that they can't make the bully disappear. Parents feel the need to stop bullying because it damages their child's emotions, thoughts, and actions.

A bully is someone who abuses their power of people and use it to tease another person. If the bully continues the behavior it is known as bullying. There are many types of bullying such as: social, physical, and verbal bullying. Social bullying is trying to ruining someone's relationships or reputation. Examples of social bullying are leaving someone out, spreading rumors about someone, or telling people to not hang out with a person. Physical bullying is when someone uses a person's body to hit or hurt that person. Examples of physical bullying are hitting, breaking their possessions, or spitting. Verbal bullying is when someone uses insults to hurt the other person. Verbal bullying includes insults, name-calling, and taunting the other person. People who want on the side line of bullying also have a name, they are called bystanders. Schools had been experiencing acts of bullying for a very long time and there were even laws set up for bullying at schools. Schools have work endless to try to find justice for bullying, but the fact still remains that what you don't see you can't solve. How are the schools going to figure out what happened if the accident didn't happen at school? What if the bullying could reach an untraceable level? Let me explain, cyber bullying was introduced into the picture. Cyber bullying is any type of torment toward a person that happens online. Some examples of cyber bullying are a vicious comment on a picture or posting a victim's number for people to mock them or even messaging the victim harsh comments about themselves. There are even people who create pages on Facebook to insult a person or a group. Some examples of these pages are victims name is a slut or is retarded.

Bullying has the ability to affect how one feels about themselves. I have a page on Facebook to help spread awareness to bullying and suicide. I talk to a lot of different people around the world who say that bullying has attributed to their mental illnesses. Some of the mental illnesses are suicide, depression, and anxiety. A lot of kids get so depressed they start to let their grades go down and start skipping classes. They start to doubt themselves and feel like the torment. Their self-esteem goes down because they get ganged up on and picked on. Even the bystanders of the incident start to suffer from mental illness. The bystander is someone who witnesses the bullying and says nothing about the incident to stop the bullying. Bystanders start to feel really nervous and don't want to go to school to stay away from the bully. People start to feel pressure to fit in and not angry the bully. Bystanders are known to start to experience with sexual activities, drugs, and ditching school. Believe it or not, the bullies have a change in behavior as well as the bystanders and victims. Bullies are more likely to get into fights at school, engage in sexual activity at a young age and drop out of school. Imagine if all these kids didn't bully or witness bullying. They wouldn't be subjected to all of these mental illnesses that is why parents work so hard to stop bullying. Parents see the urgency in helping kids realize that bullying is not a way to get a head in life. Bullying has been linked to suicide in many case in the court of law and psychology. Although bullying can contribute to suicides, studies have said that it is not the only reason that a suicide occurs. We need to help our kids believe that we are supporting them. The schools are doing a good job with the campaigning for no bullying and rules around the school, but is it enough? As parents you must know that this generation is addicted to technology and bullying has advanced through the internet. Now a days, schools doesn't have the jurisdiction to charge kids with the laws when the bullying is not happening in the school or on a school computer. Another challenge that the school and parents run into is proving the person who is behind the text or bullying of the one person. The risk factors of bullying are clear, but as for who is at risk is not as obvious. Bullying can happen anywhere to anyone. Kids that are more likely to be bullied are perceived as different as the other kids, portrays themselves as weak, or perceive themselves as not having a lot of friends. People that are more likely to bully are popular kids, think badly of other, or are easily frustrated.

The emotional problems caused bullying are extreme and kids have trouble coping with the emotional trauma. Kids are starting to feel trapped and hopeless to stop the torment because the bullying online and at school. When the person gets name called all the time, kids who reported getting bullied said that they felt trapped because they started to feel like the bullies were telling the truth about them. Some emotional issues that have been linked to bullying are: depression, eating disorders, or social difficulties. Depression is a mental illness that makes you want to sleep and feel an overwhelming sense of sadness. Eating disorders are very dangerous and often lead to other serious health conditions. Some examples of eating disorders are: anorexia or bulimia. Anorexia is an eating disorder that makes you obsess about their weight and what they eat. Bulimia is an eating disorder that makes you obsess yourself with trying not gain weight. People with bulimia usually binge on a bunch of food and then cause themselves not to gain an excess weight. Verbal bullying can be contributed with these eating disorder because of the name calling kids feel the need to fit in. They let peer pressure set in and feel the need to have the perfect body. This cause them to go in a downward spiral of trying to look like the girls in the magazines. Parents can't control what the control what the bully says to their kid, but the parent can control how the kids choses to cope with the bullying. Could you imagine waking up in the morning and looking in the mirror feeling not good enough or ugly? It is not right for anyone to have to wake up feeling like that. I feel it is important for all kids to have information on what bullying is and how you can cope if you are getting bullied. Administrators of schools need to find a way to better connect with the kids and speak out if anyone that has visited them, that shows any of the twelve signs of suicide. One of the consequences of reoccurring bullying is compromise of social development. A lot of studies show that kids that are bullied have a higher risk of having social problems. Social problems are often showed as a kids or adult acting a lot younger than their age. An example of this is the kids being scared to socialize because they have a fear of being judge by their peers.

Another reason parents are trying so hard to stop bullying is kids that get bullied are often change their actions. Some kids even start to experiment with drugs. Kids that are bullied are also know to act out or drop out of school. Dropping out of school could ruin their future, and as the parents of this generation we need to re instill the importance on schools. How could be tell our kids to have a better future and not tell the help them through the torment? We have all been in school and all know that kids can be cruel if you don't fit in. Whatever happen to the statement being different is a good thing. To stop bullying, many groups have formed in schools and even set up on social media for support. I even have a page for intelligent kids to help other kids get through there experiences in school. We work as a twenty four hour page and post inspirational posts to help anyone who visits the pages. I take it very seriously to have people message me with their problems and even go out of my way and all hours to be supporting them the whole trip. It is important to show a bunch of compassion and understanding to the person because victims of bullying often suffer in to their adult years.

1 in 4 teachers see nothing wrong with bullying and will only intervene 4% of the time. Teachers need to learn what to do in a case of bullying. Many schools have posters up, but it needs to be enforced. In my last year of high school, I have seen many cases of bullying that teachers saw and did nothing about. Why should innocent kids be at risk of torment when teacher could easily step in on the situation and explain to both people that this type of behavior is not acceptable? As the employees of the school system is your responsibility to take care of the kids? Parents need your support to help the kids stop suffering from the behavior changes, misguided actions they make, and tell them how to cope with the bullying. Too many kids have fallen victim already, how many lives are we not going to get in a better life?

In conclusion, bullying is an important subject on all of our minds. Our children are suffering from the torment, witnessing, or practicing in the accident. We need to start understanding and learning how to handle incidents of bullying. I have seen a lot of bullies go back to the same person even after they have gotten in trouble for it. I wanted to write about this topic because I have had a lot of babysitting jobs in the past and was wondering what caused children to have the need to bully. I think it is important for parents to stop bullying because it causes mental sicknesses, changes in the kid's behavior, and causes the kids to make choices that can ruin the children's futures.

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vangiespen - / 4,134 1449  
Nov 8, 2015   #2
Summer, your essay thesis is not really very clear. You have not provided an accurate explanation at the beginning of the essay for the reason you are writing this essay. What are you trying to convince the reader of? You stated a lot of information about bullying but you failed to develop a topic for discussion within the essay. So I am not really clear, coming off reading your opening statement, that you want to convince me that it is important to stop bullying. When you develop your opening statement, you need to make sure that you present the topic for discussion either at the very beginning or very last sentence of the introductory paragraph. That is normally where the thesis statement lies. In your case, the thesis statement does not really exist. So your topic for discussion just became a general discussion regarding bullying instead of the importance of preventing bullying.

Now, I have to refer you to the way that you discuss the facts in your essay. Have you ever heard of the term plagiarism? It is when a writer takes the words of another author and presents it in a new written form as his own. In this essay, you have a tremendous amount of information coming from various authoritative sources. However, you do not refer to them as the source of any of the information you have shared. That constitutes plagiarism on your part and most often results in one of two things at a university or high school. Either you get suspended or you get expelled for what is simply tantamount to sloppy work on your part because you failed to provide in-text citations for your information sources. i am absolutely sure that you want to avoid any of those scenarios as it will adversely affect your chances to get into college.

So, you need to find out if the teacher / professor wants you to write this paper in a specific format. The most common choices for early essay writing are either APA or ML:A format. I suggest that you run a Google check for the format that your teacher requires and then provide the proper in-text and bibliography citations for your sources. I am trying to prevent any accusations of plagiarism on your work which is why I would like you to ask your professor / teacher about what format you should be using and then format the paper accordingly. Believe me, your future education depends upon that detail that seems very minor, but has far reaching effects on your future.

Now, just to recap, there are 2 things that you need to accomplish in order to make this essay work better for you. First, create a convincing thesis statement for your opening paragraph in order to introduce your reader to your persuasive essay. Then, the most important thing that you have to do is properly cite and format your paper in order to avoid plagiarism issues.

Good luck on both counts. I hope that I can read your revised essay in this thread soon :-)


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