The Intake of four different kinds of meat in a European country

This is my essay for the topic mentioned. Thanks to all evaluate <3

THE GRAPH BELOW SHOWS THE CONSUMPTION OF FISH AND SOME DIFFERENT KINDS OF MEAT IN A EUROPEAN COUNTRY

The line graph illustrates the amount of four different kinds of meat namely chicken, beef, lamb, and fish that a citizen of a European country consumed weekly from 1979 to 2004.

Overall, it is evident that while the consumption of chicken increased, the opposite was true for the intake of beef and lamb. Also, fish remained the least popular meat during this period.

In 1979, beef was the most favored meat at over 200 grams per person per week. Chicken and lamb were eaten in similar quantities at around 150 grams. It can also be seen that the intake of fish is only one third that of chicken or lamb.

Between 1979 and 2004, the country witnessed a massive change as chicken consumption rose continuously and hit its peak of around 250 grams per person per week. The contrast can be observed for beef and lamb as the amount eaten for both kinds of meat dropped more than half. Similarly, fewer fish was eaten in the country, with its figure declining by about 15 grams per week.

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Don't you think it's a little too bit short. It's more like a section of an article

hi there!
your using words and grammar have no problem but I consider where you could take the information you put in your essay as "Similarly, fewer fish ... 15 grams per week." In my opinion, writing task 1 should be focused on describing the chart only.

Moreover, I seem to disagree with you about how you separate the information into 2 bodies. I suggest dividing due to the time or kinds of meat instead of one for 1979 and the rest is about between 1979 and 2004. It might be easier for readers to catch up with the chart.

You should merge the first and second paragraphs to create a single presentation. That way the sentences are not hanging and provide a clear and concise discussion presentation. Your first sentence, the summary overview, should be divided into sentences. Each sentence should represent:

- The type of graph
- The information listing in the image
- Source of the information
- And the years indicated in the graph

The trending statement is too generalized in reference. You should pick the most indicative high and low of the given information and present those are the trending statement. This sentence should be better presented because it is the concluding observation of the overall image information.

Do not overlook the points in the graph where the lines intersect. These are important aspects that should be presented in a clear paragraph of its own as these are part of the comparison discussion requirement of the prompt instructions. You may refer to one or two overlapping points, depending upon how many exist within the image.