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IELTS-TASK1: Integritation problems according to people's ages who living abroad.


broibra 17 / 19 3  
Nov 10, 2015   #1
The bar chart illustrated the percentage of some problems that are experienced by people who live abroad according the range of ages.

To begin, making new friends is being the greatest problem for young people aged 18 to 34 when they start living in a new country, a problem witnessed by 46 percent of the people in this age group. About 36% people of 35- to 54-year-olds find it difficult to make new friends, while the aged people who are over 55 years old experienced approximately 23% find it hard to forming friendship.

The aged people who are over 55 years old find the most difficult is to learn the local language. In contrast, people who aged 18 to 34 and 35 to 53 shows to learn the local language are easier, and the lowest percentage is about 29 percent to learn it.

In comparison people who aged over 55 hardest is learn new language, they are only experienced 22% have trouble finding accommodation. However, this is the second greatest problem for the people who aged 18 to 34 and 35 to 53 about 39 to 40 percent they are finding it hard.

I would like to sum up that according to this chart, it is easier to go and live in another country while you are still young rather than when you are over the age of 55 as it is more difficult for you to adapt to the new language in a new country.



yousssa 1 / 3  
Nov 10, 2015   #2
The only concern I have is on the last paragraph. Because this is a statistic. I think it's better not to use 1st or 2nd person. It just weaken your information and make it specific for the one who read it ,as you said the pronoun "you". It's better to generalize it like saying" it is easier to go and live in another country while people are still young" That way it strengthen your sentence. You did really good job on other paragraphs. Good luck in your Ilets.
nsahmad 11 / 14 3  
Nov 10, 2015   #3
Happy to be share with you bro.

The bar chart illustrated the percentage of some problems that are experienced by people who live abroad according the range of ages.

*using present in the first sentence in your introduction because it is like you explain the question directly in your writing.
*making clearly time in your writing, decision using past or present, it influences your verb in body paragraph.
*making sure word in writing task 1 at most 200 word.


Hope helpful.
shintacandrade 10 / 74 87  
Nov 12, 2015   #4
The bar chart illustratedillustrates the percentage of some problems ...

For introductory sentence, use the present simple to say what the graph shows.

In comparisonOn the other hand, people who aged over 55 hardest is learn new language, they are only experiencedexperience 22% have trouble finding accommodation. However, this is the second greatest problem for the people who aged 18 to 34 and 35 to 53 about 39 to 40 (This is to confusing and difficult to be read by the reader) percent they are finding it hard.

I would like to sum up that according to this chart, it is ...

1. I recommend to put the overview at the beginning because if you run out of time and do not have an overview at the end, then you will lose mark for your task response. In this case, you will not able to reach a band 6 or higher.

2. Avoid to use 'I' in writing task 1. You should never talk about the background to the situation or try to give reasons for it.

Hope this helps ~ Shinta


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