Here are the parts that I thought sounded a little awkward. I am nit picking here. I am nit picking because your English is so good and I know that you want to improve it even more.
From that perspective, a self-educated one can hardly learn more,
One is one of those words that has several different meaning in English. In this sentence, it is a little confusing. It would clarify things in the reader's mind if you were to substitute
person for
one here.
Thus, he may have a extremely deep knowledge in his interested field but a poor cognition in other fields.
His interested field is awkward here. The English-speaking mind is programmed to picture the field being interested. What is it that the field finds so interesting? You could just say
his field or
the field that he is interested in.
I have used "he" here only for brevity, for girls, it is equally the same or perhaps even worse.
This is a comma splice because the two parts of this sentence could stand alone as their own sentences. You could fix that by putting a semicolon or a period after the word
brevity. The last part of this sentence doesn't quite flow like a native speaker would write it. We might say something like: for girls, it is equally difficult or perhaps even more so.
OR Girls struggle with self-guided learning as well. There are some teachers/professors who don't like the use of
he as a gender-neutral pronoun. I have gotten in the habit of restructuring my sentences to avoid the use all together! You could do that here as well if you wanted to: Even the most diligent students will skim through what does not interest them, and, more or less, neglect what they find tedious.
Since many girls dislike math, they are likely to get rid of math forever when it comes to teach themselves.
We have had political correctness drilled into us in the US and students here generally don't include stereotypes in their formal papers. Although girls score lower on standardized tests in math (and higher in reading and writing), it would still be considered a stereotype to say that girls dislike math. You could reword this to just say
students who dislike math.
Get rid of is a pretty casual statement in English. Not the best one for an essay.
When it comes to teach themselves is also awkward. It is written like
it is teaching
themselves. If you were to add the word
time in front of
to, the sentence would read much better. The new sentence could be something like: Many student dislike math and are likely to avoid it when it comes time to teach themselves.
Speaking of time, my break is just about over and I need to get back to work. I'll come back later and nit pick some more. (Unless you'd rather me keep my snotty-nosed opinions to myself).