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IELTS Writing Task 1: International conferences in 3 cities


nimbus2k2 8 / 25 6  
Jul 24, 2019   #1

the number of conferences hosted in some capital cities



Topic: The graph shows the information about international conferences in 3 capital cities in 1980-2010. Summarize the information and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph illustrates the data in three capital cities in terms of the number of international conferences during the period of 1980-2010

Overall, the number of such conferences in city A and city B dropped over the years, while the figures of city C witnessed the opposite until 2000.

In 1980, there were 35 and 30 conferences in city A and city B respectively. After 5 years the difference in figures was approximately 7 conferences and both experienced a minor increase in 1990. Between 1980 and 1990, the number of international conferences in city C rose substantially from zero to 20 conferences. This number continued to climb and met the figure of city B at 25 in 1995.

More conferences were hosted in city C after 1995, while in city A and B fewer took place. The number of conferences in these two cities when through some fluctuations whereas the figure of city C peaked at 35 in 2000. After 2005 the data of all three cities followed the downward trend.




stella898 2 / 3  
Jul 24, 2019   #2
Hi,

1. You will have to focus on adding subordinate clauses on your essay, without which you will loose marks.
2. You could add more adjectives/adverbs to show the fluctuations in the graph. For example - use words like rapidly, significantly, widely, slightly, etc
3. Lastly, for body paragraphs show a trend or for each city in this case. For example - 1. upward trend / 2. downward trend / 3. fluctuations or 1. City A 2. City B 3. City C.

Hope this is clear

-Stella
Maria - / 1,102 389  
Jul 25, 2019   #3
@nimbus2k2
Hello there!

I hope you're doing well. Thank your consistently being part of the forum. We hope you've found all of the feedback necessary for your learning.

Firstly, I agree with the prior comment stating that you need to work on incorporating more adjectives throughout your essay. This will help you curate a more in-depth analysis on the graph rather than merely mentioning everything out loud. If you do this, you'll have more than mere statements of what's already readily available in your writing.

Try to also incorporate the right punctuation and pauses in your writing. It is critical for you to add a comma after declaring dates, for instance. Just keep in mind that, if you feel the need to pause, it usually requires at the very least a comma.

Best of luck as always.
OP nimbus2k2 8 / 25 6  
Jul 26, 2019   #4
Thank you @stella898 and @Maria for your feedback. I'll be sure to stay active and continue to learn from the people of the forum.


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