International exchange programs benefit teenagers

youngsters joining international exchange programs

task2: some educationalists think that international exchange visitors will benefit teenagers at the school. To what extend do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Essay:
With current globalization trend, some protect their stance that it is necessary for youngsters to join international exchange programs due to its benefits outstrip its drawbacks and i totally agree with this standpoint.

To begin with, it is not deniable the essential role of international education intergration is increasingly impacting to young generation. First and foremost, in terms of personal characters, multinational exchange programs enforce overseas students to step out their comfort zone to adapt in a foreign territory totally unknown aforetime. By this way, students will confront with plentiful difficulties that require their willpower and determination a lot, therefore they are likely to become more self-assured, self-effacing and bolder in coping with their own issues.

More importantly, in the context of today's fiercely competitive marketing economy, a broaden knowledge background is crucial, which helps to open the door to better employment oppotunities. It can be said that abroad students are global citizens who are equipped fully essential luggages before taking part in new working environment. In addition, culture intergration is also a benefit not less important. Mingling into cultural diversity, paticipants will have a selective absorption from world's cutural quintessence from different nations and contribute advertise their national images to international friends, therefore shortening the gap between countries.

To recapitulate, there are a variety of benefits relating overseas studying such as knowledge, personality, social intergration, all needed to be taken into closer consideration that its disadvantages.

You have mixed up the essay discussion instructions. You are combining an extent essay with an A/D essay discussion instruction. Therefore, your approach for to the discussion will be incorrect. That is based on the original topic which is:

Some educationalists think that a programme of international exchange visits will offer various benefits for teenage school students. Do you think the advantages of it outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

As you can see, there is no extent reference to be found in the original prompt. Always make sure that you are responding to the essay in the correct manner, based on the original discussion points.

Your opening paraphrase is incoherent. It does not represent any portion of the original prompt. Nor does it represent a proper response to the original question. Due to this incoherence, your TA score will most likely fall under 1, your response is totally unrelated to the original task provided. Here is an example of a more appropriate paraphrase:

The globalist form of education has some teaching professionals wondering if the trading of students between countries for learning purposes will be truly beneficial to the adolescent participants. I believe that the purpose for this type of educational exchange experience offers tremendous benefits to the students that cannot be negated by any perceived disadvantages. I am offering several reasons for my point of view.

Avoid using word fillers such as "To begin with" and "First and foremost". While these words do add to your word count, it does not do so in a positive way. Every word that you use in the essay must help to build an understanding of your paragraph, allow you to properly use grammar and punctuation marks, and add to the coherence or cohesiveness of the essay. Word fillers do not do any of these things which is why it should be avoided at all costs. It will not even increase your LR score since the words do not really have any meaning other than helping to extent the presentation of a sentence or paragraph.

The LR score for this essay will be low because you are showing that you do not understand how to use English words in the proper context/ based on its definition. An overseas student is not "enforce" to step out of his comfort zone. He is "encouraged" to step out of the comfort zone. Word meaning difference?

Enforce - to compel obedience to

Encouraged - To inspire with hope, courage, or confidence.

Which of the two words do you think better fits the sentiment of your sentence? Right.

Your essay will lose heavy LR and GRA scores due to the lack of clarity and mistaken use of words all throughout the presentation. That means, the 2 factors that will determine your C&C score will not help to increase your score in that section either. So, these errors, plus the wrong paraphrase approach and response will not result in a positive outcome for you. This is not a passing score essay at all.