Unanswered [0] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4

International Graduates, Canadian Universities, 2001-2006


Misnariah Idrus 19 / 35 4  
Mar 16, 2014   #1
Given is bar chart compares the overseas graduates number of Canadian colleges who come from eight provinces.

Overall, from all provinces, none of them had more than 7% graduations in 2001, but one of those regions was successful to get almost 12% graduations in the following years.

A more detailed, look at the graph shows in 200, the 4 biggest percentage overseas graduations came from New Brunsick, Nova Scotia, Quebec, and Alberta (there were around 7%, 6.5%, 6.1% and 5.7% respectively). While, the 4 least numbers were attained by Ontario, Newfoundland and Labrador, Manitoba, and British Columbia (there were just approximately 3.2%, 3.5%, 3.6% and 4.9% respectively).

In contrast, there had been significant increase in almost all provinces' graduation numbers in 2006. The highest improvement was achieved by British Columbia which was successful to get 6% additional graduations. Whereas, the worst improvement happened on the number of Alberta's students which decreased by more than 1%.

In conclusion, universities in Canada graduated more international students in 2006 than in 2001.




JasS 10 / 30  
Mar 17, 2014   #2
Given is bar chart compares the overseas graduates number of Canadian colleges who come from eight provinces

The chart compares the number of oversea graduaters of the univercities in Canada during a period of 5 years, from 2001 to 2006

Conclusion is not necessary, you've got overview already but there are some details in your overview. Don't give any detail in the overview.
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Mar 17, 2014   #3
Given is a bar chart compares the numbers of overseas graduates number of Canadian colleges who come fromin eight provinces.

Overall, from all provinces, none of them had more than 7% graduations in 2001, but one of those regions was successful to get almost 12% graduations in the following years.

Here you need to have the most obvious observations and you should not have statistics or details in this overview. For example,
Overall, all the colleges show a significant improvement in the numbers of overseas students from 2001 to 2006.
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Mar 17, 2014   #4
Given is bar chart compares

Given is bar chart comparing

A more detailed ( no comma here) look at the graph shows

New Brunsick, Nova Scotia, Quebec, and Alberta (there were around 7%, 6.5%, 6.1% and 5.7%

Ontario, Newfoundland and Labrador, Manitoba, and British Columbia (there were just approximately 3.2%, 3.5%, 3.6% and 4.9%

This is called "shopping list" writing, which means just listing obvious figures one after another. Were I you, I tried to identify key trends and compare and contrast patterns.

significant increase

a significant increase.

the number of Alberta's students which was decreased

A number of Alberta's students were/ are
The number of Alberta's students was/is

additional graduations.

Graduation here is uncountable.

Overall, all the colleges show a significant improvement in the numbers of overseas students from 2001 to 2006.

This is a very good example of an overview. What Dumi says above is true. An overview, the important feature in IELTS visual writing, is a short description of a situation that gives the main ideas without explaining all the details.


Home / Writing Feedback / International Graduates, Canadian Universities, 2001-2006