Unanswered [0] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

International pollution issues such as the energy shortage and global warming


Shahoo 3 / 5  
Dec 14, 2013   #1
HI, plz help me with my writting, thanks in advance :)
-------------------------------------------------
Facing many international pollution issues such as the energy shortage and global warming, some people believe that individuals have limited abilities to deal with that issue, compared with the nations and society.

------------------------------------------------
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The tension and pressure we are facing because of global problems are increasing and deteriorating. To some people`s belief, these issues are enourmace and not for individual`s effort to cope with but society`s. However, I strongly oppose this notion , every tiny vigor of anybody`s can be essential, while we are fighting with huge and vital global phenomenon.

Global warming and the energy shortage occurred partly by individuals daily lifestyle. If particular attention is paid for simple things we engage our days, significant improvements could be done. For example, we occasionally leave rooms light on regardless to our location. The smoke produced by tobacco which is massive menace and one of the hazardous reasons for global warming could be reduced only by personal attempts. Moreover, individuals could cut down utilizing personal cars and use public transport instead. So here comes evidence, profusely vital role of personal effort against perilous problems.

Furthermore, society consists of individuals, so if the spirit of environmental care leaves individuals, no nation or society will ever deal with it or compel individuals to care. Therefore its nation and governments duties to capture individuals attention towards environmental issues and also inspire and empower them to neutralize their lifestyle. Thus, nations can facilitate in a huge amount in this field.

Above all, when it comes question like farther existence of mankind, to discuss whose responsibly for particular problem is nonsense or disarray, all of us share this planet, it`s all our problems, and we ought to handle by genuine integrity.

----------------------------------------------------
250
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Dec 15, 2013   #2
The tension and pressure we are facing because of global problems areincreasing and deteriorating.

... increasing and deteriorating? this sentence is pretty confusing and does not deliver a clear meaning :(

To some people`s belief, these issues are enourmaceenormous and not for individual`s effort to cope with but society`s.

According to some people, these issues are too advance for an individual to act upon them in view of solving them.

However, I strongly oppose this notion , every tiny vigor of anybody`s can be essential, while we are fighting with huge and vital global phenomenon.

Your try to construct too complicated sentences with too many inappropriate words.... Remember, clarity is more important than everything else in essay writing. my advice for you is to construct simple and interesting sentences with the words you are familiar with.
niesaysi 16 / 290 85  
Dec 15, 2013   #3
Shahoo:
The tension and pressure we are facing because of global problems are increasing and deteriorating. ... increasing and deteriorating? this sentence is pretty confusing and does not deliver a clear meaning :(

I agree with Dumi. " Increasing and deteriorating are contrast to each other.

.1).effort to cope with but society`s ?? 2.).. anybody`s??

Grammatically speaking, the highlighted words are incorrect 'cause you will only have to use apostrophe to show possession.

individual's daily lifestyle-- lack with apostrophe.
regardless toof our location

I used to utilize complex words in writing an essay. My personal purpose was to merely add beauty to the language used. But I realized that to "produce" a good essay, a writer must take into consideration readers, because they are his patrons and it would not be effective if they don't actually understand the message.

The good side about you is that since ENGLISH is too broad, you are trying to reach it which is actually great! Vocabulary building is vital in learning the English language. Just be careful in terms of usage. Read more articles so that you will know how the words are used in the context. Afterwards, try to use them on your own sentences,of course, with conformity on the grammar rules :))


Home / Writing Feedback / International pollution issues such as the energy shortage and global warming