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International student from an emerging market economy; course essay


Serg007 1 / 3 1  
Apr 14, 2014   #1
Hi, everybody!

I was nominated for one-week general management course, but I was also been asked for preparing one-two pages essay! As far as I am not native English speaker, I will appreciate any your notices to my text below. Thanks in advance, Serg.


"I believe that my input as an international student from an emerging market economy would prove a valuable asset to this course - as well as to the student group.

Starting to learn English from scratch with the target to start speak in few months and adapting myself to a new business environment when [company name] made acquisition of the company I has been managing were great challenges for me. But in the same time it has brought me unique experience to become a bicultural manager.

This course is a pivotal factor to my ambition target for bringing the best practices into the daily business when I have possibility to do it.

As a manager who is looking for any opportunity to make the business I manage better, I always open to the new knowledge and possibilities to meet interesting persons whom I can learn new experience from. Having some [company name] trainings passed I can value much bigger effectiveness of the courses organized abroad by [company name] against local general trainings in Russia. So, my motivation to be a participant of the course in XXX University is very high!

From this practice-oriented course I expect to have more working tools to implement and use the best-practice principals in daily work. I expect to receive new portion of the inspiring/engagement cocktail to share it among my team leaders. As a Russian manager started my own career in perestroika period and changed my brain with [company name] ideology then, I expect to listen to the guru of the European model business. My expectation also is to expand my view to the problems, to find the most critical aspects faster and be able to concentrate all efforts on the most important direction.

My personal aim is to collect the most possible information, because I understand that all I'll hear at the course is very interesting, cognitional and useful for me. I want to find the balance between Russian fast-decisions and European weighed-decisions models. Discussing [company name] values with top-management of our company is also a topic which I am interested in.

I feel the gap in EH&S ideology and reporting, because in Russia we have different law in this field. In terms of leadership I would like to compare the frequency of the general line-managers meetings in different business units and business cultures.

I expect to bring new ideas taken from others to be implemented in daily business. Getting new working business tool I expect to share it among the team members to be used every day to solve working tasks."

pdcohen - / 7  
Apr 14, 2014   #2
Serg007,

This general management course sounds like an incredible opportunity. I hope you're able to attend!

Your experience and enthusiasm come through in your essay. Sometimes it's a bit difficult for me to tell exactly what you mean. So without more background, it would be hard to give you very detailed advice. But here is a suggested edited for your first two paragraphs, assuming I'm correctly interpreting your meaning:

As an international student from an emerging market economy, I feel I have so much to learn from this general management course, and so much to contribute.

Russian and European business practices both have their strengths. I was forced into this realization when the Russian company where I was a manager was acquired by a European company. I had to adapt quickly. I started to learn English from scratch and encountered many challenges as the manager of a newly bicultural team.
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Apr 14, 2014   #3
"I believe that my input as an international student from an emerging market economy would prove a valuable asset to this course - as well as to the student group.

Being an international student who comes from an emerging market economic environment, I strongly believe I can add lots of value to this program as well as to its student group by sharing my experiences and knowledge with others.

I was nominated for one-week general management course, but I was also been asked for preparing one-two pages essay!

Well, it is important for us to know on what theme you need to prepare your essay. If you mentioned that, may be we could have provided you with more meaningful feedbacks.
OP Serg007 1 / 3 1  
Apr 15, 2014   #4
Your experience and enthusiasm come through in your essay. Sometimes it's a bit difficult for me to tell exactly what you mean. So without more background, it would be hard to give you very detailed advice. But here is a suggested edited for your first two paragraphs, assuming I'm correctly interpreting your meaning:

Dear Philip, thank you for the time you spent for answering me here. To understand my meaning better, I can give some background. Actually, I'm a top manager of Russian production site of international company, responsible for the operations. In the past I was managing the company which was being belonged to the Russian owner, but it was the same plant I've been managing so far. When I'm talking about a challenge task, I mean I accepted job offer from the foreign company without ability to communicate in corporate language. When I said about bicultural, I meant I changed my mind working in international company after long period of the working in private Russian company.
OP Serg007 1 / 3 1  
Apr 15, 2014   #5
Dear Eddy, thank you so much for your useful notices. Indeed, the orthography was not main point when I started learning English, but it seems the rules for the comma at least are quite the same that in Russian, so it is easy to use. In generally, when I'm creating the sentense, the main problem for me is transfer of the Russian sentenses style into English.
OP Serg007 1 / 3 1  
Apr 15, 2014   #6
Well, it is important for us to know on what theme you need to prepare your essay. If you mentioned that, may be we could have provided you with more meaningful feedbacks.

Dear Duminda, I was asked to write essay with explanation of the following topics:
- How do you describe your personal course motivation?
- What are your expectations from the course?
- What are your personal aims for the course?
- Where do you see your biggest gaps in terms of leadership and management skills?
- What inputs for our daily business life would you expect from this course?
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Apr 16, 2014   #7
there you go .... lol
Ok, I think you can have one para for each of those questions. That'll give you a better flow for this essay and they too will find it easier to understand what they expect from you to tell. As it is the flow is not that great. Why don't you re-do this again. Write your answers in separate paras to make up a full essay and post it here. I will try to help you with my feedbacks for further improvements.
pdcohen - / 7  
Apr 16, 2014   #8
Serg,

Duminda's suggestion is a very good one. You should dedicate one paragraph to each of these questions. Try to be as specific as possible. Right now your essay is enthusiast, but reveals few distinguishing personal details.

Also, do you know if this is a highly competitive program? You say that you were "nominated" for it. Does the person who nominated you have any insight into the type of applicants that the program prefers? That would be very valuable information to have. It would allow you to tailor your answers.

Cheers,

Phil


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