Unanswered [8] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4

International tourist arrivals around parts of the world


IqbalThemi 44 / 46 13  
May 26, 2015   #1
The graph provides information regarding the number of international tourist arrivals around parts of the world throughout the whole periods in question. Overall, the most striking point from the graph is North America and Central and Eastern Europe as the majority of international visitors over the timeframe. Whereas, the figure of South-East Asia's foreigner travelers doubled an increase, another did not experience a significant change as the whole of the period in the graph.

According to graph, North America started as the highest number of people visiting amongst others. Their number stood at over 70 million visitors in 1990, and then experienced a gradual fall by approximately 3 million travelers, after the trend peaked at 90 million individuals travelling in their countries in 2000. Following this, there was a dramatic rise in the figure of Central and Eastern Europe over the period in the question from 30 million in the first year to at just under 90 million tourists at the end of the period.

Moving to a more detailed analysis form the chart reveals that Sub-Saharan Africa and South America had a similar point of foreigner visitors. Between 1990 and 2000, their figure had virtually pattern, but in 2005 for Sub-Saharan Africa, they had number travelers more than South America's figure at around 22 and 18 million visitors respectively. However, South-East Asia could be considered as the figure who witnessed a significant growth from juts 20 million to nearly 50 million foreigners visiting in the last year in the question.




Trias 23 / 41 14  
May 26, 2015   #2
Hi @IqbalThemi, please find my feedback below.

Whereas, the figure of South-East Asia's foreigner travelers doubled an increase, anotherthe others did not experience aany significant change asin the whole of the period in the graph .

TheirThe number stood at over 70 million visitors in 1990, and then experienced a gradual fall by approximately 3 million travelers, after the trend peaked atfollowed by a peak of 90 million individuals travelling in their countries in 2000.

Good luck!
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
May 26, 2015   #3
- Whereas, the figure of South-East Asia's foreignerforeign travelers doubled an increase, anotherthe other did not experience a significant change as the whole of the period in the graph.

- According to the graph, North America started as the highest number of people visiting amongst others.

- Moving to a more detailed analysis form the chart reveals that Sub-Saharan Africa and South America had a similar point of foreignerforeign visitors.

- Between 1990 and 2000, their figure had virtuallyvirtual pattern, but in 2005 for Sub-Saharan Africa, they had number of travelers more than South America's figure at around 22 and 18 million visitors respectively.

- However, South-East Asia could be considered as the figure who witnessed a significant growth from jutsjust 20 million to nearly 50 million foreigners visiting in the last year in the question.

Iqbal, this analysis is great. Details of the graph is well analyzed. However, I suggest the following;

- Your analysis has a very good flow, very logical

- proof read as always

Keep writing.

Cheers!!!
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
May 26, 2015   #4
a few points;
Para 1:
If you have "whereas" as the linker, then you are not allowed to put a comma soon after it. "Whereas the figure for ... increased twofold... (Double is inappropriate here.

Para 2:
Some sentences interrupt the flow. Let me give a try to recycle them. Here is my sample: its initial number amounted to over 70 billion visitors. Since then, the annual growth has increased. The actual annual growth in the number of travellers fell from its peak of 90 million in 2000, to a low of roughly 87 million in 2005. This stands in contrast to Central and Eastern Europe. The total number of tourists grew gradually between 30 and 90 million from 1990 to 2005, a rise of 60 million travellers in 15 years.

I suggest reading model answers derived from exam preparation coursebooks or materials as many as you can. By doing so, you are of many words to write a lot. Hope this helps, eddy suaib.


Home / Writing Feedback / International tourist arrivals around parts of the world