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VoThuyPhuong 1 / -  
Oct 13, 2020   #1
Schooling is no longer necessary, since more and more information is accessible on the Internet, and students can study just as well at home.

To what extent do yo agree or disagree with this statement?

The rise of easy access to online information questions the necessity of school attendance. Still, I strongly disagree that it could overtake the latter. I believe formal schooling remains an irreplaceable part of an individual's education despite the abundant sources of knowledge the digital society can offer.

It is undeniable that the internet has delivered an explosion of learning opportunities for Generation Z, providing both fundamental and advanced knowledge in a wide range of fields. Free online courses, integrated with high quality lectures and visual aids, are constantly introduced in the interests of learner's autonomy. What is more, learners can flexibly schedule their timetable and absorb knowledge at their own pace thanks to the ubiquity of personal computers and wireless connection. In spite of these merits, conducting internet-based study at home requires high level of self-discipline and concentration while most students are easily distracted by social networks and recreational sites when they turn on their computer.

Formal education would therefore counter the negatives of self-study using online resources. From the early stage of their school life, children are put in a framework, where they learn to follow class rules and regulations. Such well-disciplined environment helps not only minimize distraction but also boost learning productivity, which is hardly achievable in domestic settings. On another note, there is a pitfall of internet study materials as they can be inaccurate or level-inappropriate, not to mention misleading and distorted information, harming children's mental health and cognition. In contrast, institutions and educational workforce often invest significant effort in researching and designing curricula that are standardized and targeted at certain grades. These accomplished educators, who possess profound understandings of child studies, are capable of facilitating young generation with proper approaches to attain learning efficiency and intellectual development. Thus, their role in one's academic journey is indispensable.

in conclusion, although children nowadays can have an enormous volume of information on the internet and its utilities at their fingertips, I hold the belief that schools still are, and will be for years to come, of the utmost importance in bringing wholesome and comprehensive education to children.

Hannah Robjn 3 / 8  
Oct 13, 2020   #2
Though this is a really good and smooth piece of writing with flexible usage of structure and vocab, you should point out directly the reasons through topic sentences.
Holt [Contributor] - / 9,758 3088  
Oct 14, 2020   #3
Kindly review the question you are being asked to respond to. This is not an essay that is asking you to create a new opinion and present it. Rather, you are being asked to describe the extent by which you agree or disagree with the given statement. Therefore, you cannot respond with "I believe...". Rather, you should respond with: "I disagree with this statement to the degree that I believe formal schooling..." Always include a reference to the measured response as indicated in the original prompt. Otherwise you are not really responding to the task requirements.

You should never offer a comparative discussion in an extent essay because you are being asked to defend your singular response to the question. You need to use 2 reasons that will convince the reader that your opinion is valid and based on either personal experience, knowledge, or currently and publicly known facts regarding the discussion topics. Use the comparative essay presentation only for Advantage v. Disadvantage discussions or Dual POV discussion with a personal point of view reference.