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iELTS essay about the internet which has brought significant changes to our lives in recent years

hphnngcquan 1 / -  
Mar 18, 2021   #1

the impact of internet on modern lives

Topic: The internet has dramatically altered Our Lives over the past few decades although some of these changes have been negative the overall effect of this technology has been positive

The Internet has brought significant changes to our lives in recent years. Yet, there remains some disagreement as to whether the overall impact of this technology has been negative or positive. Personally, I believe that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks for several reasons.

First of all, nobody can deny the fact that the Internet has revolutionized our way of communication. Thanks to the advantages of email and other internet chat programs like Viber or KakaoTalk, contacting with other people has never been easier. These incredibly useful and powerful tools facilitate contact with loved ones from faraway places and global trade.

Moreover, the Internet has placed the entire world as well as its information at our fingertip. In earlier times, conducting researches involved hours of searching library shelves. Now, however, all of the information can be accessed through searching engines (Google) at a click of a button.

On the other hand, it is obvious that not all the information available is reliable or helpful. For example, there are a number of materials online which is considered offensive or dangerous such as pornography or terrorism.

By way of conclusion, despite some disadvantages, I once again restate my position that the Internet has had a positive impact on modern lives due to its influence on communication and the flow of information
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,535 3447  
Mar 19, 2021   #2
There is a severe shortage in the word count for this essay. Presenting only 218 out of the required 250 words will definitely prevent you from getting a passing score once the overall deductions are completed in the final tally. Your essay is definitely under developed and under discussed. The thoughts are not clearly explained and lacks in proper example references. The short paragraphs are the main problem in your presentation. Do not rely on run on sentences to get you through the essay. Those will always end up costing your GRA deductions. If you can manage to stick to 5 sentences per paragraph, you will be able to meet most of the prompt formatting requirements, with a better focus on the LR, GRA, plus C&C scoring requirements.
nganhacindy 1 / 3  
Mar 19, 2021   #3
For this kind of IELTS task 2, when you want to highlight the benefits over the drawbacks, you should still include some disadvantages in the first paragraph of the body part, then for the next parapgraph, you can write more points about the advantages to compare how it outweigh the disadvantages one.
juliachung 3 / 10  
Mar 20, 2021   #4
Hi friend,
I have taught that we should avoid using generalization in the essay. "nobody can deny the fact that" - this part and some other parts might lower your score since you affirm that everybody agrees with this without verified evidence is very dangerous. You should state drawbacks and benefits but then compare both and gives reasons why the internet is beneficial despite the given drawbacks.

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