Do you agree or disagree with following statement? Some people says that the internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Others think access to so much information create problems. Which view do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
This is my response:
As technology grows, so does the extensiveness and development of internet we can exploit and take the advantage of its convenience. Nowadays, People start to shop online, rent HD movies from the iTunes store, and make the acquaintance of people across the globe by using social network. All of these things are almost impossible to achieve in the previous generation, but today, people in the era of network do accomplish these unattainable dream. However, what it brings to us by the evolution of network is not only the rapidity and convenience, but also threats to our society. From a different angle of view, the explosion of information makes people hard to prove the validity and reliability of enormous reports, besides, the extensive use of the network usually causes internet addiction disorder in adolescents and adults. What's more, online activities make the network have been rife with pornography and illegal related uses.
First of all, too much information on the internet may be abused by the press. With the convenience of network, people can readily transfer considerable information from one person to another without verification, and thus resulting in an unproven and invalid message. George Entwistle resigned as BBC Director General on 10 November 2012, following controversy over a Newsnight report which indirectly and incorrectly accused a senior official in the North Wales child abuse scandal. This event reminds us that abuse of public reports may have took place by having massive information, and the message from the internet cannot always be valuable and accurate.
Secondly, people are prone to indulging in the network by excessively using the internet, which have significantly reduced our opportunities for human interaction in the real world. With the flourish of the internet, and the rises of social network (Facebook, Twitter, etc.), people spend more and more time on the internet, but less hours with their family and friends. This phenomena has been medically defined as an internet addition disorder in children and adult. Besides, online activities, which would normally be considered troublesome, such as playing online games, or watching staggering amount of internet videos/movies, could have directly interfered with normal life of a person.
Finally, the easy access to the internet may create a environment rife with illegal related use which may pose a threat to our society. The searching engine, Google for instance, giving us a convenient way to find out all the formation that we need though, could have brought forth a dangerous avenue to a drug or sexually related use. Online chatroom, a well-known access, could have encourage the prostitution on the internet. What's more, it's not a surprising news today that the drug dealer communicate with buyers and trade their goods throughout network. Since there isn't any restriction of access to the Internet, the problems with illegal use will definitely last for a long stretch of time.
In a nutshell, although the convenience and the expedience of the network, such as online shopping or instant message, provide us an quick access to enormous information. However, it may have resulted in a threat to our society. If we don't deal with these problems carefully, the network would still be a place full of unproven reports, unrealistic interrelationship, and illegal related use in the future.
You've written a great essay... Excellent writing with rich vocabulary and sentence structures.
However, this task has to be performed within a limited time frame which many candidates find hard. So, it is better if you practice with time to make sure that you can manage time well at the exam. Also it is good to follow their expected essay structure so that you would more easily earn marks. So I would suggest you to stick to 4 para structure with intro, 2 body paras and the conclusion. If you find spare time you can do a bonus body para :D
Also, I find your intro is quite descriptive... I really feel you don't have to do it that much because it may consume more time. Also it is recommended to state your opinion very clearly at the intro itself.
Overall... a great job and I believe you really don't have to worry about this task.... You can move on to the others : )
