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Internet will help student only if he has a desire to study


rassul 1 / -  
Aug 3, 2014   #1
Topic:
In some countries, using the internet in schools is getting more popular. Is this a
positive or negative development?
Answer:
In many countries, popularity of the internet consumption at schools is going up. Some people think that it only aggravates the consciousness of students. Others believe that the internet has large beneficial influences on them.

One good argument for the public against the internet is that the many technological creations can make pupils lazy. In the past, people used to write and do home works without the assistance of the network. However, as the years went, there were many technological developments and it brought some modifications in the teaching sphere. Nowadays, learners use the internet to do their home tasks and prepare materials for the lessons. They just copy some abstracts and prepare it without the help of their mind and intelligence. Hence, their brains do not make hard efforts and decisions. Consequently, students can have adversities in some difficult works without aid of the web.

On the other hand, the internet can improve our intellect. The internet has wide of information which is necessary for us, so it can be our supporter. For instance, if we have some problems with the understanding of a topic, we can seek it from the network and understand it there. Moreover, we can test ourselves on the internet with the aim of improving our comprehension of the topic. Also, there are huge number of videos which are related to a various issues on the web.

To sum up, it is clearly seen that in present the internet is in majority of spheres, actually, it is almost everywhere. In my opinion, the most of things depends on a learner. So, if he has a desire to study, the internet will be his advocate. Otherwise, the internet can have not favorable effect on students.

Jwala 3 / 8 3  
Aug 3, 2014   #2
Overall, the essay is good. I think it might be for IELTS. Attach the word IELTS in the thread topic so that other IELTS students will pickup on priority.

Introduction - there are 2 lines provided but both seems to be positive. Though it has not requested for opinion, but still you need to provide a general opinion mentioning whether it is a positive or negative.

Paras - It is better to talk about the positive first and then negative.

Conclusion - It is better to have inclined to one side though there could be partial agreement
ningo 22 / 53 9  
Aug 4, 2014   #3
In many countries, popularity of the internet consumption at schools is going up

In many countries, there is an increasing use of the internet in schools.
Your intro is lack of a thesis statement. You need to add a thesis statement covering your ideas or thought about this topic

pupils

It's rarely to use this words in Ielts, you can replace by "students, learners, schoolchild, undergraduate...

home works

homeworks

as the years went

As years gone

However, as the years went, there were many technological developments and it brought some modifications in the teaching sphere.

This sentence is rather long and confusing. This is my suggestion:
However, the strong development of technology has remarkably changed the way people work and study
In general, you have got good ideas. However, your expression is not really clear and smooth. They are my reviews for your work. Good luck for your study! :-)
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Aug 4, 2014   #4
In the past, people used to write and do home works without the assistance of the network. However, as the years went, there were many technological developments and it brought some modifications in the teaching sphere

well,I think this is not the part of the question. You are not asked to draw comparison in the past.

in present the internet is in majority of spheres, actually, it is almost everywhere.

This contains run-on sentence.

the most of things depends on a learner

Read this sentence aloud. What do you feel about it? Sounds strange?

You conclusion does not cover the broader topic. So start writing this: In conclusion, the internet has both advantages and disadvantages ..., next your sentences...
wonnguyen 2 / 2  
Aug 4, 2014   #5
"to sum up" , people rarely use it. " overall, in inclusion, in brief. . .
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Aug 26, 2014   #6
In many countries, popularity of the internet consumption at schools is going up.

This is not a strong hook to open your essay. Your first sentence of the essay is a very important one as it is the one that makes the first impression about your writing. So, you should come up with a strong meaningful idea ;

The Internet is one of the most effective and popular inventions in the recent past.
Now tell your reader about the background of the issue - you can simply paraphrase the prompt;
Today, in many countries, it is being used in schools as an effective tool to deliver education to children. Some people believe this trend has negative effects on the education system.

Now state your own opinion clearly :)


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