I am practising on ielts and i got this prompt
The prompt says: Some people say that the internet is making the world smaller by bringing people together . To what extend do you agree that internet is making it easier for people to communicate with another ?
Internet and communication
The past 10 years , Advanced technology has become popular including internet , which is making our communication much easier and bringing people together. The rationale of this thought is less clear and dependent on individual opinions and attitudes. While they are valid arguments to the contrary, I think Internet has helped us have better communication . However, the benefits should be seen in light of few substantial drawbacks.
To begin with , Internet has definitely made our communication become easier. Internet have so many ways to communicate and chat without regarding spaciousness. Nowadays , so many technologically communicative apps have been invented such as Facebook , Twitter, Skype, etc... They are really helpful, convenient and chip . All ones need to do is make a call by using those apps, and then we can communicate and see everyone all over the world on our devices. We do not need to worry how much it costs like telephones. Needless to say, Increasing the access to fastest information. The past few decades, when Internet has not been invented yet, if we had wanted to express our feeling or information to the ones who lived different places or countries , we would have had to write letters and send it by Mail and Parcel service or doves . Sending those letters and waiting for the response. Nothing guaranteed that it would be right away received by the recipients or maybe be lost. To use technologically communicative apps is one of the rapid ways to send and received the responses
However , if we do not know how to use it usefully , we will destroy those benefits by ourselves . Living in illusion is a obvious way. Ones make a mistake by regarding those apps so much and forgot caring themselves, their families and people around them .Consequently , they will be controlled by those apps which Not only do affect their health , but also bring ones far away from realistic life and a lot of serious effects.
In conclusion ,I think that Internet is successful way to communicate and bring people together ,even few issues need to be solved by ourselves. Not only for communication , but also a lot features such as getting information , business, and transaction , etc....Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 Maito, the essay that you wrote has a major problem in terms of lexical resource and grammar range / accuracy. It would be best that you use a dictionary before you use a term in your essay. If you know the spelling, look up the meaning of the word first. That is because you have a tendency to use the wrong word even though the meaning of your sentence is clear to the reader. Grammar accuracy and the use of the correct term is of the utmost importance in scoring your essay properly. The major mistake that I saw in this paper was the use of the word "chip" when what you meant to say was "cheap". A "chip" is "a small piece of something removed in the course of chopping, cutting, or breaking something, especially a hard material such as wood or stone." While "cheap" means "at or for a low price." You meant the latter. So you can see how your essay would score low in terms of lexical resource and grammar accuracy. With regards to your sentence formation, please remember that this is an academic essay and as such should not contain ellipses (...) nor the word "etc." as those are more geared towards informal writing. Your overall score in this essay could be a 5 in my opinion.
Hi,
let me try to help you in writing :)
~~~ you can use recent decades rather than The past 10 years. it is more academic .
~~~it is always better start any paragraph with a simple sentence, then use complex one.
~~~use always the internet like the theatre
~~~find some sentence too long that is not reader friendly
~~~try to write conclusion at least three sentence.
keep writing .....best of luck .
