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The internet makes our live completely different - IELTS TASK 2


Ester Napitupulu 18 / 25 3  
Apr 3, 2016   #1
The internet is probably the most significant invention of the last 30 years. Without it, our lives would be completely different.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?


Technology invention makes mankind's lives more convenient. The internet is the most popular innovation of the three decades which some people argue that without it their live quite dissimilar. I do agree that networking makes communication easier, although the rising of cyber crime is increasing.

In the past people can connected across the globe only by mail, then it has developed by using phone and know we can do it by the internet. This improvement proves invention in technology gives facilities to humankind especially in correspondence. For instance, people in India can connect directly to their relatives in the Netherlands by using video call from smart phone, sending e-mail and using social networking such as Facebook, Twitter and others only just in a few minutes. As a result people can keep contact more intense to others although they are separated by distance. It is evident that the internet fosters in communication.

However, there is no doubt that the internet also has demerit in human's life such as the rising of cyber crime. In the light of the recent cyber-attacks on bank, health insurers, retailers and other sectors. It's no surprise that everyone is concerned, because of the risk in financial loss or other deceptions. For sample, somebody can hack credit card and use it to purchase. As a result of this, society new a law that can prevent from criminal networking. It is conclude that the internet impact the inclining of cyber crime.

To conclude, although there is a probability that causes the rate of cyber crime is rising, but I agree that the internet makes a significant difference in people's lives, especially to communicate easily. I suggest the Government should in charge to make some rules related to the risk mitigation around cyber security.

Masfufah 10 / 12  
Apr 3, 2016   #2
Hi miss... let's correct your sentence...
my suggestion:

In the past(COMMA) people can connected across the globeIN WHOLE WORLD only by mail, (...) using phone and know we can do it by the internet NOW .

As a resultno need to put as a result in introduction people can keep contact more intense to others although they are separated by distance.

WRITE YOUR OPINION AGREE OR DISAGREE
Anaguna 21 / 27 5  
Apr 3, 2016   #3
The internet is the most popular innovation ...
"The internet is the most popular innovation in the last three decades in which some people argue that without it, the human's life quite dissimilar. Although it brings negative effect such an occurring of cyber crime, I would believe that the networking makes people communicate easier ."

For the second paragraph, I have some correction:
can connected = can connect
using phone = using the phone
from smart phone = from the smartphone
As a result = As a result,(with comma)

For the third paragraph:
Bank, health insurers, retailers and other sectors = Bank, health insurers, retailers, and other sectors(using comma before and)
in financial loss = of the financial loss
For sample = for example
It is conclude = It concludes
impact the inclining of cyber crime = impact to the inclining of cyber crime
dina79 20 / 26 3  
Apr 3, 2016   #4
pardon me, I want to try and give you another choice to paraphrase your introduction,

My suggestion: The internet is the one of type by technology. The circumstance now becomes the modern area since the internet found at three decades ago and it has to fulfil the lives in which without the internet will be the different situation. While, the internet have more improvement to be future, the life still continues without it. I believe that the internet it is better for the next generation.


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